Cold Sake

Kiki's Home for Reality Stars and Wayward Celebutantes

2010-09-01T23:49:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's my mothering instinct, but while watching MTV shows (I know, which I am way too old to be doing, see The Gig Girl's post on being a Middle Aged Teenager) I have an overwhelming urge to adopt the "kids" on that show. It all started with Jersey Shore's Snooki. She seems like such a nice girl. She's loves pickles, dancing and is looking for her Prince "Hot Juiced Tan Gorilla" Charming. Unfortunately, she is looking for, as the song goes, love in all the wrong places -- such as the hot tub (where she hooked up with a roommate known as "The Situation," never a good sign), or in the club, where she did a cartwheel showing off her thong and everything else. Her parents, as seen on the show, seem like perfectly nice folks. So where did they go wrong? Maybe she just needs a little guidance. That's where I come in. Maybe I can invite Snooki into my home, and show her what it's like to be a "good Italian girl." We live in a great neighborhood -- there's an Italian bakery, deli, and a gelato shop. I'll buy her some tailored pants and turtlenecks. She can GTL to her heart's content (Groceries, Toilet Cleaning and Laundry). But why stop at Snooks? Those Teen Moms on MTV could sure use a boost (have you seen Catelyn and Farrah's moms?) And don't forget about Paris and Lindsay. Maybe we're on to something. Come on, girls! There's room for everyone. Do you think I could score some free babysitting out of this deal. Mmm, maybe not.

Meet My Sister!

2010-05-12T23:38:00.001-04:00

Introducing the newest member of the Cold Sake family -- Cold Sake Will Travel. It's my work-in-progress travel blog of the last decade. I'll be catching up as as fast as I can and sharing the best of my travels, with a focus on budget U.S. travel, with a little of The Good Life thrown in for a little extra flavor. Be sure to check out! Kanpai!

I Love Rock n' Roll

2010-03-19T17:41:00.003-04:00

I heard a great song on the radio today -- "I Hate Myself for Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. The DJ was playing it in honor of "The Runaways", the Kristen Stewart-as-Joan Jett biopic that opens tonight. I was surprised that after all this time, the song still sounds so fresh and current. It's impossible not to see the similarities between Jett and someone contemporary like Ida Maria. Check out Maria's "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" -- the bookend to Jett's song. Same raspy voice, same commanding beat. Makes you wonder how much music owes to Joan Jett -- would we have a Courtney Love or even a Liz Phair without Jett? I don't know how the movie will do (will it get a lot of Twi-hard traffic?) but it reminds us of a great, nearly forgotten voice in rock.

What They're Saying About Kiki

2010-03-17T14:18:00.002-04:00

Two posts in one day? Little guy is taking a championship-level nap, so I have some time. I check my stats today, which I haven't done in a year. It's pretty hilarious that my top links continue to be my posts on beards (best and worst) and Miley's brother (this will probably get me 800 more hits. That post is the gift that keeps on givng). The funniest referral I'm getting is from a beard forum. I got over 300 hits in the last year! Apparently, I am the antichrist in their eyes, a guy, and a beard-hating moron (eh, they got a few right I guess). I think it's funny that they're taking this so seriously. So, once and for all guys, I don't hate ALL beards -- just YOURS! Keep the referrals coming folks, (I'm talking to you, fans of Dr. Will Kirby!) I'll get that top ten list of best moles one of these days!

Kiki's Brush with the Bigtime

2010-03-17T13:46:00.004-04:00

Way back in 2007, when I was working in advertising, I worked on a campaign for TAG Body Spray. This was by far one of the more glamorous jobs I had as a producer as I got to arrange a photo and video shoot in NYC, complete with models and swimsuits. The shoot turned into a bit of a cluster-F in 90 degree, cramped office space in a high-rise with no A/C and no swimsuits. I spent the better part of the morning riding taxis around Manhattan looking for sexy but tiny swimsuits, in July, when most stores are stocking Back to School. But that's another story. My point is the one of my models was Michaela McManus. Then, she was just a struggling model/ actress. She was quiet and lovely, and even more beautiful in person. She read a raunchy innuendo-laced script with humor and grace, wore the tacky swimsuit I bought, and stayed professional while we all sweated like Al Gore in a rain forest. It was fun working with models that day as my usual experiences as a producer involved searching for mannequins, not humans. After the shoot, Micheala hit the big time, landing stint on One Tree Hill, Law and Order SVU, and now Nomads, an Alias-like pilot for the CW. She was even called "underrated" by Entertainment Weekly. Way to go, Michaela! I wonder where that mannequin from the Talbots ad is now. . .

Kiki Comes Out of Hibernation Long Enough to Make Oscar Picks

2010-03-07T12:17:00.003-05:00

With the Oscars tonight, I thought it was my duty to let you know what my Oscar picks are. No, I haven't seen every movie -- just Avatar and what's available on DVD. No, I have no authority. Just a well thumbed through copy of EW and several office Oscar pool wins under my belt. So here goes:

LEADING ACTOR
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” -- It's clearly his year, this being the year of "The Dude."

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds” -- Woody H may have a shot, but I believe the award will go to Waltz for his turn as a charming Nazi, if ever there was such a thing.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” -- Duh. It's a given.

LEADING ACTRESS
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia” -- This is a tough one. Everyone is saying Sandra Bullock is a lock, but I feel like Streep had to work so much harder to play Julia Child than Bullock did in "The Blind Side." I think the voters will recognize that. Streep has become the Susan Lucci of this award show (partly because I think voters figure there's always next year for her and she's already won before), but I think it's her night tonight.

ANIMATED FEATURE
Up -- I think Pixar will take it yet again.

ART DIRECTION and CINEMATOGRAPHY
Avatar -- I think Avatar has these categories locked up.

COSTUME DESIGN
The Young Victoria -- Period pieces always get the costume award.

DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker" -- I hope on this one, that history is made. James Cameron was great, but there was a lot of technical heavy lifting behind "Avatar." "The Hurt Locker" was a perfect, tight, well directed film and I think Bigelow will be rewarded tonight.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
The Cove -- Dolphins rule.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
Music by Prudence

FILM EDITING
The Hurt Locker -- This movie was perfectly edited. "Avatar" was not (and could have been an hur shorter!)

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
El Secreto de Sus Ojos -- So says the gods at EW, and so I'm going with it . . .

MAKEUP
Star Trek

ORIGINAL SCORE
Up

ORIGINAL SONG
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart”

ANIMATED SHORT FILM
A Matter of Loaf and Death

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
The New Tenants

SOUND EDITING
Avatar

SOUND MIXING
Avatar

VISUAL EFFECTS
Avatar

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Up in the Air

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Hurt Locker

BEST PICTURE
Avatar -- This should be "The Hurt Locker," but I think Avatar will upset as it is a ground-breaking film and has changed cinema as we know it.

And there you have it. I'll check back tomorrow to let you know how I did . . .

Higher Learning: Celebrity Edition

2009-08-14T17:47:00.002-04:00

It's back to school time again. But not just for the kiddlets -- your favorite celebs are hitting the books. Jerry O'Connell, fresh from his talk-show tour discussing the birth of his twins and his wife's pumping habits, is studying one of the oldest professions. No, not that one. He's going to become a lawyer. I guess he's not getting royalties from My Secret Identity and Kangaroo Jack these days. The new dad will be taking courses at Southwest School of Law. As the wife of a lawyer, I know Rebecca is in for some long nights alone with the kids. Hopefully, he can start pulling his weight in a few years, though. Maybe Rebecca can become a stay-at-home super-mom-del.

He's not the only one, however. Ashely Judd will be attending Haaavaaaad for her degree in public adminisitration. Lookout Beantown, here she comes! She joins other already-celebrities seeking degrees from Harvard, such as Weezer's Rivers Cuomo and Natalie Portman. Maybe this advanced degree will allow Judd to stop making such crappy movies.

Lastly, Omarosa -- that's Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth to you -- is going to -- wait for it . . . SEMINARY SCHOOL. She will be studying at the United Theological Seminary. Please, if nothing else, let her find a soul there!

All this is inspiring me. I want a reason for a new Trapper-Keeper and pencil box. Perhaps I can persue my advanced degree in blogging? Taught by Professors Perez Hilton and Arianna Huffington?

It's Over

2009-06-23T16:57:00.003-04:00

I'm sure no one was surprised by last night's Jon & Kate Plus Eight revelation that they were going their separate ways. I certainly wasn't. Yet, it was still really a sad moment when the proverbial hammer came down. Say what you want about John's earrings or Kate's fake bake -- they are still real people, really getting divorced. And there are real kids involved. TV show or not, whether they had mutual affairs or stayed faithful, they are a family in crisis. The Hubby and I hugged each other a little tighter last night, not because their separation has anything to do with us personally, but it still made us go hmmmm . . . You see, Jon and Kate were married the day after us, ten years ago. Sure, they were thrown a major curveball, having two sets of multiples and a TV show where we just have one and no show. But I guess that means that when you're standing up at that altar saying your "I do's," you have no idea which way it's all going to go.

And, it's one less couple to hang with. The Hubby always insisted that there were certain celebrity couples that would be fun to go out with in real life. Sure, Nick and Jessica were a little dumb, but they seemed nice. We were sad when they broke up that we'd never get a chance to share margaritas at Chilli's. Jon and Kate would bicker a bit, but isn't there one couple in every group like that? I was sure that we'd have a lot to talk about. Now that they're through, that just leaves Brad and Angelina. I probably wouldn't like them in real life, though. They'd probably go on and on about international politics and blah blah blah. And they probably wouldn't want to dish about the latest installment of Big Brother. Oh well. I wonder if Tom and Gisele are available . . .

Boobs Over Broadway

2009-05-29T16:00:00.002-04:00

I think Glee is going to be my new favorite show next fall. Those minxes at FOX teased me with one episode after the Idol finale and now I have to wait until the fall TV season starts to see another, but I like what I saw. It touched my inner theater geek, taking me back to the days of after-school play practice. We didn't have a very rich theater program at my high school (only one musical a year), but it was always the highlight of my year. Over the summers, I did "drama camp," which made those long boring summers fly right by. Even then, my inner control freak came out (I preferred to be a director than an actor). The best part about those experiences was hanging out with people I had so much in common with. I wasn't a great athlete (unless you count my other activity -- figure skating -- oy), I wasn't smart enough to be a full-blown chess club brainy-geek, and I wasn't popular enough to be in student government. If the theater was the island of misfits, I found my other toys. Of course, as in any society, there was still the hierarchy -- the diva, the male lead, the geek even the theater geeks picked on. Oh, and we had our Susan Boyle too -- a smelly girl that really needed a shower. But that's how it goes. So, if I can see myself in any show on TV, I think it's going to be this show. It's got biting humor, soaring musical numbers, and the right balance of sentiment and irony. As Lea Michelle exclaimed in the first episode "there is NOTHNG ironic about show choir!" which is funny because everything IS ironic about show choir. And why did I mention boobs in the title of this post? Oh yeah, I saw Lea Michelle's boobs when I sat front and center at Spring Awakening. That's all, just wanted to mention that . . .

And here is a little tatse of the show:

Cold Sake Jr. Est Arrive!

2009-04-22T21:38:00.002-04:00

So this is why I haven't posted in ages. I hope to be back in action this summer. Until then, rock on . . .

I Never Thought I Would See The Dark Knight

2008-12-19T08:02:00.003-05:00

But I did. Twice. It's a miracle. My story begins in August. I decided the only way to see this movie was at the local IMAX theater. It had just been released and tickets were tough to come by, but I managed to secure four tickets online to the 7:00 Saturday show. The closest IMAX theater was a 1/2 hour away at the Jordan's Furniture (they of the MOM ride. Whoever decided that the ride should be called Motion Odyssey Movie ride is a genius because you can say you "rode MOM " without a hint of irony). Also in for this adventure to IMAX-ville were my parents, as my father showed a rare interest in seeing a movie in an actual theater (unlike their usual weekend of buying movie InDemand, despite having a Netflix subscription that they can't seem to comprehend they already pay for). So, we packed into their pseudo-minivan, had a caloricly ridiculous meal at Chilli's, and made our way through the furniture store to the main event. We also stopped to buy popcorn and soda for the 2 and 1/2 flick. I urged everyone to get in line as it was first-come seating. We finally get in line, present our 4 tickets, only to have the old lady movie-bouncer tell us that she can't let us in because the movie is sold out. Duh, that's why I have tickets, lady, I told her. Yeah you have tickets. For NEXT Saturday's show. What??? Though I am still reluctant to take the blame to this day, baby brains here must have clicked on the wrong weekend. As we were in a wedding that next weekend, coming back was no deal, so I managed to get 4 passes for a future film (despite my best hormonal efforts to get my money back). On the way home we contemplated swinging by the local AMC to see if there were any shows left, but it wasn't going to be the same and I'd rather stew in my own juices.

August, September, and October all fly by in a blur of weddings, vacation, and baby prep. Before I know it, The Dark Knight is gone from IMAX and the regular theater, to be replaced by Madagascar 2. I fear by the time it comes out on DVD, I will have given birth and then never seen it (as I am constantly being warned by friends to see all the movies I can now because your TV somehow implodes with parenthood). I am already aware of two major plot points in the film, though I have tried to avoid all articles related to it. Finally, a release date is announced. I move the movie to the top of my Netflix queue, though I have a sneaking suspicion something will go wrong with my past movie getting there in time and "Available" will turn into "Long Wait." Miraculously, my watched movie arrives to them Tuesday morning and the Dark Knight is on its way to my house, Nothing can go wrong, victory is mine. The Dark Knight is in my grubby little hands Thursday afternoon. I vow to watch it Friday with The Hubby, some homemade popcorn, and a mocktail. It's not IMAX, but the legroom can't be beat.

Friday morning, the unthinkable happens -- we wake to no power. Due to a major ice storm, my dad informs me that the entire town is out. Nooooooooo. I will never see this movie. The universe is trying to tell me something. But, then a miracle happens. My parents are blessed with a gas generator, and it is enough to watch a DVD. A good chunk of my family has migrated to their house throughout the day and we gather to watch. The noisy bunch has even promised to shut the hell up. So, did we watch the movie? You betcha. Did it skip every 30 seconds and especially during any action sequence? Absolutely. Either DVDs and generators don't mix or my parents have a shitty DVD player. But, I did technically see it. No, it wasn't the magical experience I set out for in June, but it was a pretty damn good movie. Heath Ledger deserves an Oscar, the cinematography was great, and it was an hour too long. For good measure, I watched it again last night, skip free, before returning it.

The moral of this story? Don't order anything online if you are hormonally influenced. And time plus dissapoinment equals lowered expectations.

P.S. If anyone wants to buy 4 IMAX passes let me know, as I am apparently never leaving the house again!

You Killed Pushing Daisies!

2008-11-21T18:33:00.003-05:00

America! I'm deeply saddened today by the sudden loss of Pushing Daisies. And no, Ned-the-Piemaker can't even bring this corpse back from the dead. Word came down yesterday that ABC was canceling the unique show after it's 13th episode (which only makes for 22 total, barely a full season with last year's writer's strike). There's already talk of a comic book series or feature-length film to tie up loose ends, but still, that's not good enough for me. Why, why, why does this keep happening? Good shows seems to die right before my eyes, where crappola like The Bachelor is entering its 13th season. You wanna know why? It's all YOUR fault! You're not watching quality TV. Never before have I seen a show like Pushing Daisies -- great acting, witty writing, smoldering romance, and visually stunning to boot and you didn't even give it a chance. A single episode could rival any Tim Burton flick, but Gary Unmarried got twice the ratings that Daisies did this week. This is not a new problem either -- dating back to awesome shows like Relativity, Action!, and oh-my-God My So Called Life, smart TV always gets canceled before it has had a chance. Networks just don't have the patience to let you catch on (and it doesn't help when they play a shell game with the timeslot). The only reason why a show like Madmen got a second season was cable, baby. Cable will re-run the show a million times during the week (allowing viewers watch on their time) and let an audience build by buzz. Networks need instant satisfaction. I'm sure all the visual effects on Daisies weren't cheap either (whereas another episode of Nanny Jo can be slapped together on a tight budget). So, I hang my head in sadness and employ my peeps -- don't let the next good show die. TV needs you (especially if you're a Nielson Family).

Ad-itude: Commercials Make Kids Fat

2008-11-20T10:18:00.003-05:00

This is going to be more rant-y than my usual posts, but I couldn't help but feel a little crazy as I sit at my local VW dealership, waiting for my car, reading the news. There was an article posted on Yahoo entitled Fast-food ad ban could cut child obesity: U.S. study. The article states that childhood obesity rates will go down if kids see less fast food commercials. Who are the idiots who came up with this theory? They are forgetting one crucial piece of information -- KIDS CAN'T DRIVE. Therefore, they are somehow getting to the local McDonalds. There is a middle man -- Mom and Dad. Someone is buying these kids triple bacon deluxes with a side of giant fries. If the kids never saw the commericals again, I doubt they would forget about Happy Meals. Plus, the reason why kids are so fat is not because of an occaisional Happy Meal -- it's the food that is stocked in their kitchens for snacks, sugary cereal breakfasts, processed food lunches (Lunchables in the lunchbox and pizza in the school cafeteria), and the fast food dinners mom and dad grab nightly on the way home. Far be it from me to defend either advertising or the fast-food industries because lord knows they are guilty of contributing. But let's remember who's really feeding our kids -- and not turning the TV off. It ain't Ronald McDonald reaching through the screen. Gotta go now, there's still some cookies left on the dealership's counter behind me. . .

Remembering Michael Crichton

2008-11-06T16:07:00.003-05:00

During all the excitement of our new president yesterday, word came down that author Michael Crichton passed away at the young age of 66. In the company of Stephen King and Orson Scott Card, Crichton is one of my favorite authors of all time. As Michelle on BestWeekEver mentioned, Jurassic Park was her first grown-up book. I think it was mine too. I remember being glued to it in the back room of my parents' store. I wanted to read the whole thing before the movie premiered that night. I finished the book (probably when I should have been working instead) and got ready for the movie, only to find it completely sold out (this is before the days of Fandango, or even MovieFone, kids). After Jurassic Park, I became obsessed and read the The Andromeda Strain, Sphere, Congo(got right into that movie, didn't think it would suck so much). Unfortunately, Crichton also wrote Jurassic Park 2 (The Lost World) -- one of two books I chucked across the room after finishing (Contactwas the other). It was so terrible, that it was the end of Crichton's books for me. ER, which he created, was a redemption of sorts. Therefore, I will always appreciate him for introducing me (and the world) to George Clooney and for explaining chaos theory in a way a high school kid could understand. Thanks, Michael.

Happy Wonder Woman Day!

2008-10-31T18:19:00.004-04:00

As I wait for the trick or treaters to trickle out tonight, I wanted to take time to honor the best Halloween costume of all time, and, according to Superpoke on Facebook, it's her "day," Wonder Woman. I was a fan of Wonder Woman back in the day of underoos, Linda Carter, and an awesome fashion doll (complete with a sexy pantsuit and labcoat that covered up her badass leotard). I guess it was empowering for a six year old to have her own superhero to identify with, but I never really gave it much thought. I just thought she was cool. I still love Wonder Woman, as many of my coworkers can attest. I have a mug and a poster (both given to me by coworkers. Once you show an affinity for something, people tend give you stuff) as well as a myriad of other WW crap. I'm sure it came across as some sort of alpha female power thing, but really, it just made me happy, the same way I felt when I was six. Wonder Woman is still kicking (and I'm still waiting for her turn at a summer blockbuster, despite the fact that Catherine Zeta Jones is way too old for the part!) and they have modernized her. Apparently, an animated film will be released next February (maybe a litmus test for a live action flick?). And, if you haven't already, check out the Jodi Piccoult penned graphic novel. So happy Wonder Woman Day and enjoy this clip of Kim Kardashian as Annoying Wonder Woman:

Twinies? Natasha and Leather Rock Out

2008-10-21T13:52:00.000-04:00

Did you see Natasha Beddingfield on Ellen the other day? I feel like her new look is kind of an homage to none other than Happy Days's Leather Tuscadero (AKA Suzie Quatro, not to be confused with her sister, Pinky Tuscadero). Either way, I'm not digging the heavily feathered mullet hair thing and leather jumpsuit. Below, see her performance on Ellen, followed by a classic Leather performance.

What do you think?

Also, special props to Ralph Mouth on that piano . . .

Kiki Sez: Samuari Girl

2008-10-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

For my vacation a few weeks ago, I downloaded one of itunes free offerings of the week, Samurai Girl. It was part one of a six-hour miniseries on ABC Family. I honestly wasn’t expecting much – it featured Jamie Chung of Real World San Diego fame for one, and it was a family movie after all. But, I figured, what the hell? Six hours trapped on a plane and I could spare an hour for a freebie. Also, Entertainment Weekly, my media guru, gave it a good review, so that sealed the deal. Luckily, in addition to packing my own food and drink (thanks to the cheap airlines) I packed my own fun as the movie was Jackie Chan’s Forbidden Kingdom. I tried to watch a few minutes, but it was too terrible. And I normally like Jackie Chan (Rush Hour is a great way to kill a Saturday afternoon), but this was unwatchable. So, I clicked on my ipod and settled in with my 11/2”x2” screen. I have to admit, I really dug the first hour (and not just because I was a captive audience) and the subsequent 5 hours that I DVR’d upon my return. It had some major logistical issues and was a bit convoluted, but I suppose it was tailored to a 15 year old audience. What I liked about the show was it’s earnest original soundtrack (the track played over the beginning wedding scene sounded like an Exile in Guyville-era Liz Phair) and its mix of elements from Alias (a mysterious prophecy, romance with the handler, family issues), Kill Bill (an ass kicking sword fight finale with Stacy Keibler), and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (witty, bumbling sidekicks). In the words of Julie Andrews, these are a few of my favorite things. It's also based on a young adult novel that I should have written. Based on the response the show has received (and the cliffhanger ending), I smell an ABC Family series in the works. Would I watch it? Probably not (my DVR is already 83% full after one full week of fall TV premieres). But, I’m glad we had this time together, Samurai Girl.

A Shout Out from Dr. Will

2008-10-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

From time to time, I check out my stats on Google Analytics. I can see how many people looked at my site, where the traffic came from, and what they searched on. I never got so much traffic as the time I mentioned Metro Station and Miley Cyrus. I’ll never make that mistake again . . . whoops (as I brace for the onslaught). Mostly, I assume people just get to my blog by accident since much of my traffic comes from Google Images. Oh, and my friends and family. So, imagine my surprise when I see 41 referrals from http://willkirby.com/. Wawaweewa? I searched for coldsake and I found a whole discussion thread on Dr. Will’s site, started by Dr. Will himself (another celeb caught googling himself!) Well, this is as exciting as my comment from Chris Young. Not only does this mean that Dr. Will saw my blog, a few of his fans even said it was funny. The rest picked on my photography skills (it was really dark in there people!) If I had known he was so nice, maybe I would’ve bugged him during dinner and gotten a real photo. Oh well, that’s what I get for being polite (and secretly taking covert photos of him instead). So just remember people – if you coldsake, I can see you . . .

Google Helps Me to Relive My Modeling Career

2008-10-01T19:30:00.003-04:00

I’ve been an absentee blogger lately as I’ve switched into full-on nesting mode lately. (Fall TV? Emmys? Who cares! I’ve got a hundred onesies to wash and fold . . .oh, that’s bad priorities, I know). But I had to post in honor of Google’s 10^th Anniversary. Really, what would the internet be if you couldn’t waste a solid hour googling yourself? In celebration of their big day, Google unveiled their oldest available index. Yeah, you can google ipods and Sarah Palin and a whole bunch of other stuff that didn’t exist yet. I, keeping with tradition, googled myself, only to find I did not exist online in 2001 (I barely exist now, so I’m not surprised). I did remember one place I would be, however. In 2001, I had just gotten laid off from my stint at startup Smarterkids.com. They were an educational online toy store. Their story seemed ripped from the script of startup.com (including an IPO that opened at a price way higher than it would ever be again which equals Kiki loses a good chunk o’ change). Somehow, I became the face of Customer Support for Smarterkids. One day, I was minding my own business in my office (yeah, I was important. Important enough to share an office) when one of the marketing folks came around and said they were taking pictures. I agreed to have a mugshot taking, thinking it would never be used. I even donned a headset to look more official. To my surprise, I later appeared on the actual web site. What’s even crazier is that they left it up for years, even placing a santa hat on me around the holidays. It was my one stint at modeling and boy did it last. Sadly, I never got paid. So, when I was booted from my job unceremoniously when they moved operations to California, I considered pointing out to them they were using my likeness, but I knew they’d just yank it down, so I might as well enjoy my 15 minutes. Years later, the site was redesigned and then eliminated entirely. But, I am lucky to have this wonderful memento from google. So, please enjoy! And don't judge. I was into dark lipsticks then. And long, flat hair.

No Famous Faces, But Famous Places?

2008-09-18T22:05:00.005-04:00

So my star-sighting trip to L.A, was less than star-studded. But, that doesn’t mean that we didn’t see some fabulous places. Take for example our tour of The Gamble House, a lovely arts and crafts bungalow in Pasadena. Built by Greene and Greene in 1909, this house is a shining example of craftsmanship in the

U.S.

What we wanted to know from our tour guide? Where does Doc Brown keep the DeLorean? That’s right, it’s the same house used for exterior shots in Back to the Future. And, for your information, the garage is now the giftshop and the DeLorean is no longer there. It was a very serious tour, focusing on wood joints, stained glass, Japanese accents. We were biting our tongue because we wanted to know what kind of electricity the house is wired with – 1.21 gigawatts perhaps? In which bathroom did Doc Brown fall while hanging the clock? Oh, we could have made jokes all day. Our guide didn’t mention the house’s brush with fame (including it’s other starring roles in Zathura and Firefly), so we kept our amusement to ourselves.

For the rest of the week, we hit every US Weekly location, from the Urth Café to the Newsroom Café with the Geisha House (as seen on The Hills) in between. One place we were too afraid to venture? The Chateau Marmont, or The Chateau as they call it. This is where John Belushi o.d.’d, Adam Levine and Jessica Simpson hooked up, and Lindsay fell off the wagon many a time. Despite it’s close proximity to our hotel, we couldn’t bring ourselves to go in. First of all, I didn’t want to pay $18 valet at the bottom of the hill just to be told I’m not cool enough at the top of the hill. Plus, we didn’t want to reenact that scene from Knocked Up where the bouncer tells Katherine Heigl to go home as she should be ashamed of trying to get her pregnant self into the club. “That’s not even good parenting.” So, I took my fat ass back to the hotel, nursed a club soda in The Tower Bar, and watched Sunset Boulevard (which we were actually on) before passing out with turndown service cookie crumbs on my chest. That folks, is good parenting.

Star Stalking in L.A.

2008-09-17T20:25:00.001-04:00

So I’ve been away for a bit. We decided (or actually I decided and The Hubby begrudgingly agreed to accompany me) to go on a “babymoon” before Cold Sake Jr. arrives at the end of the year. Being the starf@cker I am, I wanted to go to L.A. It seemed absurd that I, a pop-culture blogger, had never been there. We’ve been devotees of New York City for some time, but never made it to the left coast (except for a drunken binge in wine country last spring). Also, what better time to go to L.A. when you’ve got a reason to be fat and bloated? L.A. loves babies – they cover the pages of every gossip magazine. So, but that logic, they’d love a short pregnant girl, right? I could get away with so much more than I normally would. So, I booked my flight, made my opentable reservations, and prepared for the onslaught of celebrities I would meet. Wow, wait until you hear who I met!

-When we checked into our hotel, The Sunset Tower, the bellman informed us that Jennifer Aniston eats at the restaurant all the time. Instead of sharing a cocktail in the bar, we looked at this half done billboard of her all week.

-The first night, after our flight was delayed too long in Philly due to fog and caused us to forfeit our tickets to Jimmy Kimmel, we decided to drown ourselves in expensive food and trekked to Mirabelle, close to our WeHo hotel. It was 8pm on Thursday and the place was DEAD empty. Except for . . .Eddie Griffin, having a serious meeting in the bar with his posse. I know he was a celebrity for sure because he gave us that paranoid look when I walked by (the same look Beyonce gave us in Nobu). As I adhered to my “don’t pester the celebs” moto, I just sauntered by him looking hot in my polka dot maternity dress. Fierce!

-For lunch on Saturday, we went to star studded Robertson Boulevard, home of Kitson, Lisa Kline, and The Ivy. Here are all my shots of the paparazzi outside The Ivy (which means someone famous was totally there -- I’m just not sure who). We ate at the Newsroom Café and then shopped the neighborhood. There was a total hoopla and red carpet outside Lisa Kiline Men, but we went in and the store seemed to be littered with wayward vodka and Redbulls, blaring DJ music, and a bunch of employees all congratulating themselves. We pretended to shop for a bit, but had no idea what was going on.

-On Saturday night, I somehow landed prime seats at Geisha House, restaurant of Mike Boogie of Big Brother fame. Our table was so good, it was right next to the kitchen. I figured that’ so they could get food to us faster, right? Well, haha, I had the last laugh when I had a prime view of Evil Dr. Will Kirby, also of Big Brother and Dr. 90210 fame. I took several pictures and this one was the best. Sorta like Bigfoot, but it was totes him.

-On Monday, we had a VIP tour of the Warner Brothers lot (meaning, you get the privilege of buying a ticket off their website). Our tour guy was great and let us loiter on an empty E.R. set. We saw lots of awesome houses, like the ones from Growing Pains, Gilmore Girls, Dukes of Hazzard, you name it. And, they took us down a street, where you could see an episode of Pushing Daisies around the corner. And, I totally saw Lee Pace (The Piemaker) behind a bush. No one else did, but I saw him.

So, to sum up, a whole week in L.A. and I spotted a half-done Jennifer Aniston billboard, Eddie Griffin, a herd of paparazzi, a grainy Dr. Will, and a questionable Piemaker. Wow, I think I’ve hit the bigtime, no?

And BTW: What Happened to Estelle on itunes?

2008-09-03T13:59:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am loving the soon-to-be-overplayed "American Boy" by Estelle, featuring Kanye West. In the previous post, I set to link to this tune in order to allow my loyal readers a sampling of it’s fabulousness. But, I couldn’t find it on itunes at all. But the strange thing was, I bought it on itunes a few weeks ago – what gives? Well, I found out through a little googling detective work that Atlantic Records has yanked it from itunes in order to boost record sales, a la Kid Rock (the strategy worked for him in spades this summer). Are you kidding me? The New York Observer nailed it on the head when they explained that with itunes, the label “actually managed to find a way to charge people for music that they probably normally wouldn't buy, except for the fact that it's so easy. We love "American Boy," but would we go out of our way to buy it in the store when it's played every sixty minutes on Z100? Of course not! We'll never buy Estelle's album (no offense Estelle, but you look like a one-hit wonder to us), so it looks like we'll never own "American Boy" unless we decide to download it illegally (or figure out how to work Amazon's MP3 store, where the single is available.)” This reeks of the greed I saw a few months back when The CW yanked episodes of Gossip Girl from the web to boost ratings on television. Yeah, they’re back online now. So, give the people what they want, folks, and stop trying to manipulate how we consume your products! Sheesh!

The James Gang’s Got Talent

2008-09-02T13:26:00.002-04:00

I watched a John Legend concert on TV sometime back. It was to promote Legend’s new album at the time, Once Again. The concert also featured artists from Legend’s own label, HomeSchool Records. We were introduced to Estelle (who’s song American Boy is on a loop in my head), Vaughn Anthony (Legend’s brother), and The James Gang. I thought Estelle and Anthony were okay, at the time, but I really enjoyed The James Gang’s vaudeville spin on Screamin' Jay Hawkins “I Put a Spell on You”. Unfortunately, though Estelle has seemingly hit the big time with her Kanye West duet, and Anthony’s EP is available on itunes, The James Gang was no where to be found. It doesn’t help that they share a name with a 70’s funk band, making google confusing. The other day, however, during NBC’s summer pabulum America’s Got Talent, I noticed they appeared for a split second in the commercial. After some research I confirmed it was indeed them. So, then I actually had to watch the last week’s episode. Their particular performance wasn’t great as it was mired in sloppy magic, but they earned raves from the judges and have gotten through to the next round. So do I have to watch this crappy show now in order to root for my boys? Not while Youtube exists. Below is a clip of their first performance on the show. And here’s hoping to an album in the future!

Kanye and Murakami Team Up for Video

2008-08-28T09:41:00.002-04:00

And to show you I still got it, here's the new video from my two favorites, Kanye West and Cold Sake Hall of Famer Takashi Murakami:

Have I Mentioned I Am Officially Old?

2008-08-28T09:28:00.002-04:00

I mentioned a few years back that I was getting too old for MTV when everything except for Laguna Beach seemed out of reach for me. Flash forward three years and considering I’ve never seen a complete episode of The Hills, the nail is in the coffin. I honestly don’t know the last time I’ve even turned that channel on. I don’t know where the new installment of the Real World is filming and I keep seeing these douchebags named Spencer and Heidi on various red carpets, but don’t know why. Getting out of touch is a slippery, slippery slope. Meanwhile, I’ve been planning a Babymoon for The Hubby and me. He wanted to go somewhere laid back, like the Caribbean. Food-born illnesses and hurricane season? Ich don’t think so. I wanted one last grasp at my youth. I want to go to Los Angeles before I have a kid in tow. Now I know I can’t go clubbing, lest I look like Kathryn Heigl in Knocked Up (“that’s not even good parenting”), but I figured I could get tickets to a few shows, eat in a Mike Boogie restaurant, and shop until I drop (which won’t take long). So, I registered for Jimmy Kimmel tickets and came across another opportunity – VMA seat filler. Ten years ago, this would have been a dream come true. Hell, twenty years ago, I would stay up late if my mom let me and would be exhausted for school the next day (why is it always the Sunday after school starts?). Today, I clicked on by. First, I’m busy on Sunday. I have some lovely historic homes in Pasadena to tour. Second, I have to pee every ten minutes and the logistics just weren’t working for me. Third, you have to give your stats to be cast. Yeah, no one knows my weight except me and my doc (I’m huge) and if I typed that in, they would assume there was an errant extra digit at the beginning of the number. No one could possibly be that short yet weigh as much as the defensive line of the Patriots! Lastly, unless we were filling Jay-Z and Beyonce’s seats, The Hubby and I wouldn’t be seated together. What’s the point of going to the VMAs if I can’t lean over and make catty comments about Britney’s weave (especially if I’m seated next to Britney)? So, I will cross my fingers I get love from Jimmy Kimmel. Otherwise, I’m on the hunt for the best cupcake in West Hollywood. And to bed by 10pm, thank you.

Hiring Ben McKenzie

2008-08-27T18:59:00.002-04:00

Wow, has it been a week and a half? Sorry about that. There’s been nothing going on in the world (damn Olympics), plus I’ve been away celebrating my friends Travis and Jodi’s wedding. Now that my DVR is recognizing the existence of fall TV, let’s ramp it back up! So, in order to feel constantly inspired, I leave myself little notes of future topics to blog about (which I shoulda checked last week). I wrote a note early last spring when the unbuzzworthy Al Pacino flim 88 Minutes premiered. In the preview, I saw the erstwhile Ben McKenzie, last seen when the O.C. signed off in ’07. The note was simply titled “Ben McKenzie needs a job.” You see, I was hardcore into O.C. reruns on Soapnet at the time, and I got a full dose of his talent and was missing him. I’m dead serious. I’ve always appreciated the comic timing of Adam Brody (Seth Cohen), but in the later episodes,McKenzie and Brody would play off of each other like the hipster Martin and Lewis (you know, after Marissa kicked it and he grew a sense of humor). Before that, he perfected the brood – he could melt you with one steely glance. Sure, he has a potato nose like a young Karl Malden, but the boy had chops. Lastly, he was a little too realistic as the stone-faced, emotionally stunted husband in Junebug. So, I was happy to read yesterday that E.R.’s John Wells was considering him for a new cop series (I thought we didn’t need another one either, but there actually aren’t a lot on these days besides The Shield and L&O franchises). So good luck Ben McKenzie. We hope you get a job really soon!

Kiki’s Hellraising Experience

2008-08-18T17:23:00.002-04:00

With the impending arrival of Cold Sake Jr., I’ve started to experience some nightly discomfort. It starts with a tingling in my leg and ends with watching Last Call with Carson Daly in a fit of insomnia. Bad right? As much of Western medicine is off limits to me in my current situation, I decided to kick my crunchiness up a notch, and go all east up in here, from neti pot to needles. That’s right, I jumped into acupuncture wit both feet. First of all, the neighborhood made it unavoidable. The acupuncture is situated between my maternal yoga class and a Whole Foods (where I bought the damn neti pot). So, I think they used super strong magnets to kidnap me and get me there. Inside, it seems like it’s on the up and up – no dead chickens hanging from the ceiling or anything. Just a skylight and some very sterile looking procedure rooms. So, I met with my acupuncturist, Jason. He was not wearing a turban – he was actually dressed like a lawyer. We went over my issues (the fact that it feels like someone is stabbing me in my leg every night with a million knives). We decided Cold Sake Jr. has his or her little bum on a nerve. The remedy for such seems to be around thirty needles from my toe to my thigh. The first time I went, it was pretty conservative, completely painless, and left one tiny blue bruise on my thigh. The tingling got a little milder, but did not disappear (which is what I was expecting as acupuncture is not an instant fix). The next time I went, we decided to get more aggressive and go apeshit with twice as many needles. He even put one in each wrist for some lingering nausea. He left me alone to chill out to some classical music (sitting in a chair with no pants, since preggies can’t lie on their back). I was afraid I would bump a needle and drive it into a vital leg organ, but it seemed to be fine. Looking down I couldn’t help but laugh, because my leg bore a close resemblance to this guy (see photo). After a half hour, Jason returned, removed the needles, and he proposed I stick some tiny ball bearings decals in my ears for the “microsystem” that controls my thigh. He said it would prolong the treatment and despite what I feared, no one had ever lost a sticker down the ear canal. It looks like a fancy piercing from the planet Vulcan, but it seems to be working. I have a few more bruises, but I’ve had many nights of good sleep, so it’s worth it. I go back tomorrow, so we’ll see how it goes. Who knows? It could be the placebo affect or maybe the baby realized that Carson Daly isn’t that good and it’s not worth waking me up for. There will be plenty of time for overnight TV next year kid, trust me.

Remembering Bernie Mac

2008-08-14T16:57:00.000-04:00

America! I know I am a few days late with this post, but it’s no less sincere. In honor of the passing of Bernie Mac, I bring you my favorite clip of one of the original Kings of Comedy:

Itunes, Les Miz, Megan Mullally and NPH: How Do These Things Go Together?

2008-08-13T18:28:00.003-04:00

If you know me or have read my blog, you know that I can be a giant nerd. So don't be surprised when I tell you about the latest thing that floats my boat. So, the other night, when I was waiting for The Hubby to bring me Chinese food to enjoy in an orgy of Olympic opening ceremonial goodness, I was listening to the Itunes on random shuffle. This is a dangerous thing in our house -- you could get something super-cool, like "Lazy Eye" from Silversun Pickups, something weird like N'Sync singing the "Star-Spangled Banner" (a moment of pre-Itunes song stealing weakness, I'm sure) to any one of The Hubby's grownup classical tunes (I can't judge him with what I'm about to tell you). So, I was overjoyed when "Confrontation" from the Les Miserables Broadway Soundtrack came up. This song is great because it is a powerful, intricately layered argument between anti-hero Jean Valjean and the evil Javert. I haven't heard that song in ages, not since I threw Les Miz over for Rent in college. It then reminded me of an awesome clip for the Megan Mullally Show (I know, right?) which featured the cast of How I Met Your Mother. I think I discovered this clip on a random sick day before the show was canceled. Somehow, NPH and Jason Segel break out into song -- this song -- and it is legendary. Due to the miracle of Youtube, I will share with you all. Please enjoy.

And if you're feeling too smart after that, I will now Barrack-roll you:

And if you're feeling stupid, here is an explanation of the genesis of that clip, the Rickroll.

Always Be on Your Best Behavior Before A Car Accident

2008-08-11T18:56:00.002-04:00

There’s been a lot of summer blockbuster stars involved in car crashes lately – Shia (the Muthaf*ckin” Beef as BWE.TV calls him) LaBoeuf and Morgan Freeman. But they were not alone during their incidetns. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s Shia was apparently with Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend Isabel Lucas (sister has a thing for curly haired boys with strange names) when he flipped his car in West Hollywood last month. You don’t want to mess with the Beef but I bet Vinny Chase is even scarier when he gets all Hulky and angry. In other news, The Dark Knight’s Morgan Freeman was with a lady friend during his accident, which got the word out that he’s sorta separated from his wife. Double ouch. So not only do these two dudes have to convalesce, but now they have to deal with inappropriate passenger fallout. Mark my words, before I have a car accident, I’m going to make sure my passenger isn’t someone I’m having an illicit affair with. I’ll push ‘em out the door with my foot before we have impact. Fo shizz.

The Story Behind the Paris Hilton Ad

2008-08-07T17:05:00.002-04:00

Ah ha. I thought the Paris Hilton response to the McCain ad was really funny, but despite her. The real credit goes to her writers. Who are those mystery people, I wondered? Well, turns out, they brought in the big guns for this – The Funny Or Die folks (or funnee ordee as The Hubby once said phonetically when seeing the url). Yep, the spot was written by Adam McKay (who also wrote and pimped out his daughter to star in this clip, which makes me so happy that I have a reason to post this since it’s one of the best things on the interwebs, in my opinion) and was produced by Chris H enchy (writer and producer of Entourage, Brooke Shield’s husband for the slow class). It was directed by newcomer Jake Szymanski (who is currently best known as the caterer in Step Brothers. Good job Jake!). So, there is some major funny behind the blonde. And without further ado:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Itunes Has No Love for Sukiyaki

2008-08-06T16:36:00.002-04:00

For my b-day this year, The Hubby gifted me with among other things, an Itunes gift card. It’s been a while since I’ve bought anything, but I’ve been jonesing for the Kate Nash album (in it’s entirety). I usually will just buy songs as I like them and I usually have to love a whole album (I used to have a 3 song rule before Itunes – I must hear 3 songs from the album in order to warrant the purchase) or the artist in general before I will shell out my nine bucks. So, I bought Made of Bricks based on just my quick perusal, and my instincts were correct (it’s great). With almost fifteen dollars burning a hole in my account, I thought I would thank The Hubby and buy him a song he’s wanted for some time – Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto or "Ue o muite arukō" as it’s know in Japan. We have long liked this classic song for the 60’s and were reminded of it the other night during Mad Men (yay! by the way) in a scene where Don Draper is drowing his sorrows in Mai Tais in a cheesy Polynesian restaurant. So, I went on to Itunes and searched by the song title – a whopping 86 versions came up. Everything from the syrupy Taste of Honey mis-translated cover (in English) from the 80’s, a spicy Selena version en Espanaol, and a Japanglish cover by The Four Preps. Alas, no Kyu Sakamoto. First, he gets disrespected by all of America (changing the poetic lyrics of his song to the name of a Japanese dish because they couldn’t understand the full title) and now, no Itunes love? Well that’s just not fair. Therefore, I am inducting Sukiyaki into the Cold Sake Hall Of Fame.

And here’s a stream of the song for your listening pleasure:

Sukiyaki (Japanese love song) - Kyu Sakamoto

Bananas for Coconut Records

2008-08-04T12:17:00.002-04:00

Have you heard the new tunes by Coconut Records? I’ve been grooving to West Coast and Nighttiming lately and I had to get to the bottom of who this mystery band is. Well, turns out it’s not a band at all – it’s the solo project of actor Jason Schwartzman. You know, the guy from Rushmore and Darjeeling Limited? Cousin of Sophia Coppola and Nicholas Cage? Son of Adrian from Rocky? Brother of Robert Schwartzman from Rooney? (The family tree is astounding) . Anyway, I found out the Jason used to be the drummer for Phantom Planet. Phantom Planet sings the best TV theme song of all time, California from The O.C. I thought the song West Coast sounds O.C.-ready. Well, turns out the song was featured on The O.C., before the show was cancelled last year! Damn, I need a job as music supervisor of a TV show. And do you think the Coppolas will adopt me? What’s one more kid?

She Kissed a Gym Class Hero Before She Kissed a Girl

2008-07-31T12:56:00.002-04:00

I am posting this today mostly because I am proud of myself. I just want to gloat about my power of observation. You know that song, the one that’s been stuck in your head for weeks and is about to get mucho annoying – I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry? Well, I realized where we’ve seen her before. Yes, some of you might know her from her cult song last year, Ur So Gay. But, you also know her from somewhere else – in the video for the song of last summer, Cupid’s Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes. She plays the third girlfriend of frontman Travis McCoy. I deduced this based on an article in this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly where they mention the two are dating in real life. She has such a unique sense of style (Madonna meets Lily Allen) that it became quite obvious (and a quick search on the interwebs confirmed it, so I know I'm not the first one to have this realization, but I did arrive at this conclusion myself). I don’t know if she’s in the video because they are dating or they met during the video, but they are a funky little couple. And he doesn’t seem to mind when she kisses girls and likes it.

Compare for yourself below (if you don’t believe me):

Matthew McConaughey is My Doula

2008-07-30T11:50:00.002-04:00

Congratulations to Matthew McConaughey on the birth of son Levi. He recently did an exclusive interview with OK Magazine where he describes the birth as follows:

"We found a great rhythm," Matthew tells OK! about the delivery of baby Levi. "Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music."

Is it just me, or does that sound awesome? I think I want to hire the McConster as my birthing coach. How much do you think he charges by the hour? Is whatever he’s smoking included in the price? At the least I have to get some of the Brazilian music he likes so much so The Hubby can start DJing. I’m sure when I’m in the throws of labor dancing will sound like an excellent idea. Nothing better to do, right? Oh, and it should be noted that his girlfriend Camila ended up having both an epidural and a C-section, so maybe Matty should stick to his day job – playing bongos in the nude . . .

Happy Birthday Wil Wheaton

2008-07-29T12:54:00.002-04:00

Today is my birthday. Sure, I share it with Gnarls Barkley’s Danger Mouse, Stephen Dorff, Days of Our Lives’s Bryan Dattilo, Martina McBride, fashion gurus Cynthia Rowley and Tim Gunn, Paulie Walnuts, and Captain Lou Albano. But my favorite person to share it with is Wil Wheaton. You see, I wasn’t a normal child. While most girls my age were lusting after Bon Jovi and Kirk Cameron, I had my sights set on gawky Wil. I fell in love with his bony little frame when my parents begrudgingly let me watch the R-rated Stand By Me. I was head over heels when he joined the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I even had my dad take me to a few Star Trek conventions, in hope of a sighting (alas, all I got was John de Lancie and George Takei, which I didn’t appreciate at the time). I even wrote my one and only fan letter to Wil (but I don’t think I ever mailed it). It went something like “Dear Wil, I’ve never written to anyone before . . .” I used to dream he’d take me to a romantic date on the Holodeck, where we’d hold hands and sit on the beach. Soon, he left the show and I lost interest in favor of real boys (enter The Hubby). I heard a few years ago that Wil was a computer programmer and had married an older lady with kids. Recently, we have reconnected via his blog, (meaning that I read his blog). He’s also been a talking head on I Love the 80’s and I Love The New Millenium on VH1, a writer, and a conventioneer, bless him. He's even been acting again. I was so happy he didn’t go the way of his Stand By Me cast mates, Corey Feldman or, God forbid, River Phoenix. Though, the fat kid ain’t doing too bad (see below). Who thought Jerry O’Connell would be the hot one? Anyway, Wil seems nice and normal, with a good family and a fond affection for his inner geekdom. Happy 35^th, Wil. Let’s share a cake sometime.

Update: Baby Romijn O'Connell Stamos Jr.

2008-07-28T11:24:00.003-04:00

An update on a story I brought you last week -- Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell have announced their efforts were successful and Rebecca will be having twins this winter! Well played, Jerry, well played.

The Preggo Posse

2008-07-24T16:45:00.003-04:00

So, I’ve dropped little hints about my impending bundle of joy lately (nothing like telling your family and friends about your being on the nest through your blog. That’s technology). I promise this will not turn into a pregnancy blog, because frankly, that’s boring. I will discuss it as it relates to celebrities I want to gossip about. So, we begin. Last year, I remember feeling insanely jealous about Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, because everyone was flaunting their pregnancies and I got nothing. I knew by the time I was preggos everyone in Hollywood would be done having families and they’d all have their tubes tied. No bump watch, no celebrity stroller recommendations, no more baby showers sponsored by some fancy label, in the name of charity. So, even though I missed the last cut, I was thrilled to know I am not on this journey alone. My best make-believe gal pal is along with me, Jennifer Garner. With a baby as cute as Violet, how could she not be (the new kid will probably get all the other genes)? But wait, there’s more – Ashley Simpson-Wentz had a shotgun wedding and a mad craving for green olives. Alison Sweeney will drop the bomb on the newest installment of the Biggest Loser that she will be gaining while the poor contestants will be struggling to lose. Former BL Host Caroline Rhea (I know, sorta C team, but I’ll take what I can get. Unless Angelina pulls a Britney and has Irish quadruplets) was looking ha-yooge on Regis and Kelly yesterday (and thank God she’s not far ahead of me, which made me feel like less of a cow). Oh, and don’t forget about the O.G. Baby Mama, Amy Poehler , whose NBC sitcom is now delayed until next year, thanks to her bun. And Jerry O’Connell is actively trying to impregnate Rebbecca Romijn and telling the media about it, which further backs up my point that he needs a job. So, looks like I’ll be in good company through the end of this year, and then there are all the make-believe play dates next year. Can’t wait.

Feeling Viral

2008-07-23T14:07:00.003-04:00

There are some viral videos I just do not get, such as this one:

I am convinced the lion is not greeting them, but looking for a way to eat them. Everyone keeps crying when they see it, but my cold cold sake heart just doesn’t get it. Other videos do touch me, however. Such as this one, of the Showbiz Pizza Characters singing Usher’s “Love in This Club.”

Not only is it a genius of inspiration, creativity, and technical skills, it also made me appreciate an otherwise crappy song. So, I was delighted to read this article yesterday explaining the origin of the video with way more back story and drama than you would think animatronics animals singing a hip-hop song should have. I won’t give it away, but read all the drama here. Makes me crave cardboard pizza, pitchers of warm Coke, and pits full of sticky, multi-colored balls. See, a lion in Africa – doesn’t strike a cord. Skeeball? Brings back memories. I guess it’s what’s personal to you. Which doesn’t explain my love for this video:

Or maybe it does . . .

The Bad Boys of Cold Sake

2008-07-22T12:21:00.003-04:00

Every girl likes a bad boy right? Wrong! Kiki likes ‘em nice, skinny, honest, and non-violent. So, imagine my dismay this morning when I saw not one, but two of my boy crushes in the news for doing bad things. Sigh, it pains me to even think about it.

First up, we have Christian Bale. You know him as Batman. Fine. Before that he was Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. I knew him as the angel voice from Empire of the Sun (“Hey kid, you wanna Hershey bar?”). I loved that movie, even though I thought it was set in some weird corner or England until recently (never said was a genius). Anyway, he swept me off my feet in Little Women as the sensitive, dashing Laurie. So, imagine my horror when I find out that Christian Bale was arrested this morning for assaulting his mom and sister! Assaulting Mom and Sis? What kind of monster does that? I mean, I could see maybe some well placed noogies or Indian burns on your sister, but enough to escalate to an arrest? What the hell happened in that hotel room? And the police waited until after the premier to arrest him. How kind. I hope they consult the schedules of all of their criminals before arresting them. Anyway, seems like Patrick Bateman may be closer to the truth. I honestly expected more from Gloria Steinem’s stepson.

Next, is Balthazar Getty. Though he did not do anything legally wrong, it’s just morally wrong. So, Balthazar and I go way back. I first remember seeing him in Lord of the Flies and I thought he was the cutest. He blessed my closet door by way of at least one page torn out of Bop. I kept my eye out for him throughout the years. I even stuck by Balty as he went through a whole messy male Paris Hilton drug phase (he is the grandson of J.P. Getty after all). So, I was happy to see him resurface in Alias a few years ago. And then, again, on Brothers and Sisters. Well, life is imitating art because just as on the show, he has split from his just-gave-birth wife. They had baby #4 in October and he was seen canoodling with Sienna Miller (who was topless) on a boat. He claims he and his wife are separated, but dude, show a little respect. Topless, on a boat, really?

So, my list of Kiki’s 80’s crushes is growing shorter by the minute. All I have to say is, please don’t disappoint me at a drunken orgy at Comicon, Wil Wheaton.

Emmy Time!

2008-07-21T16:11:00.002-04:00

So, the Emmy nominations are out. I know it's over a couple months away, but I'm excited for the return of awards season. All my favorites have been nominated – Mad Men, Neil Partick Harris from How I Met Your Mother, This American Life, Pushing Daisies and The Amazing Race. Strike and all this year, it was a crappy TV season, but it should be a great ceremony. I never realized how vast the actual nominations are, however. There are hundreds of categories. There are the important ones you see on TV, and then there are all the nerds who get their awards in a “special ceremony.” Here are some observations:

-They award Emmys for casting! There are 3 categories – comedy, drama, and special or miniseries. Wow, that’s not gonna be on TV. Along with the categories for Hair, Makeup and Choreography (big surprise, So You Think You Can Dance is nominated for 3 out of the 5 slots).

I knew this from working in advertising (since we used to win this category from time to time) but there is an Emmy for Best Commercial! Snooze!

-30 Rock is nominated for 7 Guest Actor/ Actress slots. They should win the Will and Grace Lifetime Achievement Award for Stunt Casting.

-Ryan Seacrest and Heidi Klum could add “Emmy Winner” pre-fixes to their names if either wins Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality - Competition Program. But can we acknowledge that Padma from Top Chef has been shut out?

This award needs to be on-air no matter what: Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics as I want to hear the presenter read the nominees including 'I'm F***ing Matt Damon' And how sad is it that if Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman win, they won’t be celebrating together?

-Oh, and it’s two categories as both the Matt Damon and Ben Affleck versions were nominated for Outstanding Picture Editing Of Clip Packages For Talk, Performance, Award Or Reality Competition Programs

-Omissions: Where the heck is Big Love in the nominations? All they get is a nod for Guest Actress? Not cool. I wouldn’t mess with ladies in prairie dresses and tall hair if I were them. Also, where’s Jon and Kate Plus 8? Little People, Big World got a nod for music composition. Isn’t there anything you can give to eight cute children? Why isn’t there a category for Best Doody Extraction? They would clean up, if so.

-Outstanding Drama – Boston Legal was nominated? Really? Really. Can we agree that Boston Legal and Entourage do no deserve a damn thing this season? It’s like Frasier all over again.

So, see you on September 21, kids! Get your cocktails and cigarettes ready, because I think Mad Men is going to sweep!

First Impressions of Big Brother 10

2008-07-17T14:22:00.004-04:00

It’s Big Brother time again! Power up the Chen-bot and let’s get ready for another installment. So, I’ve been watching this week and the cast is so far mostly dim-bulbs (with a few supposed “puppet-masters”). Last night, we saw the departure of Brian, who thought he was Dr. Will, except he was non-too-subtle in making alliances. Here are my impressions on the rest of the crew:

Angie – My favorite so far. She seems like a nice, normal, down-to-earth gal. She’ll probably end up being “one of the guys,” so hopefully that will work to her advantage. She also bears a slight resemblance to Moon Bloodgood from my favorite canceled show of last fall, Journeyman.

April – One of the two house Barbies. She’s already fallen tits over stilettos for Ollie. We’ll see how smart she is as time goes on, or if the blonde goes all the way. She is a financial manager after all. At first I thought she had her own hedge fund, but she’s the hottie at the car dealership that sells you a loan, so not so much. Also, she was billed as being OCD in her bio, so I’m hoping for a little cuckoo storeroom organizing, if you know what I mean.

Dan – The catholic school teacher who made an alliance with the first person to be voted out, so I’m not impressed so far. I also get the distinct feeling from him that he’s going to do something worthy of getting him fired from his job. That’s okay, he can just “go to confession” afterwards, as he stated in one of his interviews. Sure, pal, that helps you get your job back.

Jerry – I knew the house “grandpa” would get nominated into HOH right away. But, he’s easily manipulated as judged by his interactions with Brian. As someone who claims he hasn’t missed an episode in BB history, I hope he knows he is now a marked man . . .

Jessie – Maybe he could play the game if he stopped looking at his own muscles for 30 seconds. This professional body-builder seems to be a one-trick-pony of testosterone. I do not expect him to go far in this game.

Keesha – The only white girl in history named Keesha. The other Barbie of the house is also a Hooters waitress. I predict a Playboy contract, but not a ½ mil as she has already pissed the other Barbie off. Hair extensions and little plastic shoes may start flying everywhere if they throw down.

Libra – Libra gets “Mother of the Year” award for leaving a 4-year-old daughter and 5-month-old twins (!) at home. Hopefully I can get past this fact at some point, but I seethe every time she’s on screen. She’s also a weird mix of Gabrielle Union and Michelle Obama. Fist bump!

Memphis – This can’t be his real name. It reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump: “There was Dallas, from Phoenix; Cleveland - he was from Detroit; and Tex... well, I don't remember where Tex come from.” Memphis from L.A. is a mixologist, or a bartender for us regular folk. Brian believes him to be the biggest threat (after himself). Make me a virgin martini first, Memphis, then we’ll see.

Michelle – She’s the around-the-way girl from my neck of the woods. She seemed like a mouthy broad who WILL kick your ass in the first episode. The last two days, she’s gone into the wood paneling. Maybe her day will be coming soon.

Ollie – The son of a preacher-man fell in love with Barbie #1 (April) at first sight. I believe he’s going to go Church-boys Gone Wild and give us something to look at on BB After Dark.

Renny – I really hoped she would be leaving us last night. Holy crap, is she annoying. I bet the house is going to assume they can always get rid of her. Therefore, I reluctantly predict Renny to be the winner of BB10.

Stephen – I haven’t seen much of the gay rodeo cowboy this week. Which means I have nothing further to say other than: “Big Brother, I wish I could quit you . . .”

Mama Mia! It’s Batman!

2008-07-15T16:36:00.002-04:00

This week, I’ve had all of the morning shows in my periphery : Today Show, Live with Regis and Kelly, The View. I feel like I have been inundated this week by the marketing blitz of both Mama Mia and The Dark Knight. First up, the B Team players – The singing dads (Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan) from Mama Mia (Hey! We’re FILF hot and we can sing, sorta!) and the vaudeville act of Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman making the rounds (Hey! We’re two old funny men who don’t give a sh*t if this movie actually does well since we’ll be making movies another fifty years no matter what!). As they appear on one show after the next, I can practically see their limos make it through the rush hour streets of Manhattan studio to studio. All the shows are helping the publicists stay on message – I didn’t know you knew how to sing, cast of Mama Mia! Is Heath Ledger going to get nominated for an Oscar, cast of the Dark Knight? Oh, sorry to step on your joke with that awkward question, Morgan Freeman. Somehow, The Today Show snagged early interviews with the stars of each movie by Tuesday – Batman himself, Christian Bale (who looked intensely still in character with a punchy Matt Lauer) and Oscar Queen Meryl Streep (who was practically nursed by the gushing Anne Curry). The View and Regis won’t score her until later in the week. And then there’s other buzz coming from every other media outlet. Can we believe the hype that these are the two best movies ever made? Will Heath really win that posthumous Oscar everyone is already predicting in July? Is it like this for every movie and I’m just grumpy because I know I won’t be getting to the movies this weekend and I’m therefore missing out? Ok, so I’ll miss the big premieres, but I possibly see each of these movies as a distinct bonding experience with each of my parents, as they fit into each of these two opposite demographics perfectly. But wait, where the hell is Maggie Gyllenhaal in all of this?

Adventures in Sinuses

2008-07-14T18:48:00.002-04:00

Today, we interrupt our usual programming of pop culture snarkiness to bring you the greatest invention of the last couple thousand years – the neti pot. No, this isn’t a feed from my friend Michelle’s au naturel blog, What Does Your Body Good? This is simply Kiki Goes Crunchy. I know, I know. I’m not exactly the picture of granola, but I think this thing has changed my life. I’ve been an allergy sufferer since my 20’s and have just kind of put up with it. I’ve never seen a specialist, but have been known to pop a few Claritins and Zyrtecs (not to mention pump the Flonase up the nose) in my time. Due to my working at home from my infected house, my allergies seem to have gotten worse this summer. Plus, with Cold Sake Jr. on the way, I want to abstain from my usual remedies. Michelle told me to get a neti pot, and I was like "Yeah, whatever.” I am not snorting salt water from a teapot. It sounded like a nasal burn waiting to happen. Finally, this weekend, I couldn’t take it anymore. On one of our weekly visits to Whole Foods for The Hubby’s Gourmet Project Blog, Gourmet, All the Way (what, does everyone I know have a freakin’ blog?) I buckled and nabbed one. I had no idea the reaction it would bring. In a store full of flax seed, quinoa, Organic Hot Pockets, wouldn’t you know this brought attention? You know things are bad when you get heckled by the commies at Whole Foods. The cashier started giggling and soon there was a crowd gathered around the register. The bagger reassured me he loved his neti pot and it did not burn at all (though all I could picture was the same feeling Tony Montana must have had in this scene from Scarface). The Hubby was taking sick glee in my discomfort and begged to watch me christen my new pot. Nothing says intimacy like watching snot run out of your partner’s nose. I abstained in fear and stubbornness yesterday. Today, still misery, I buckled, grabbed a spoon and went to mix up my salt water potion. I got the water to a comfortable temp, read the directions, took a deep breath and inserted the spout up my nose. The directions say to tilt your head in such a manner and the water is supposed to run up one nostril and out the other. Well, I don’t have quite the hang of it yet because I felt a sudden tingling and realized I had emptied half the pot up one side and nothing was coming out. I disengaged and a fountain ran out. But it didn’t hurt. I did the same with the other half thinking it will take me a couple of days to get the hang of it. Let me tell you – my schnoz has never felt better. I have been sniffle free all afternoon. I love my neti pot! Seeing as I still have the same headache since yesterday, I’m going to now do a search and see if there’s anything those natural health wizards recommend. Hand stands? I’m in.

Great White Sighting Leaves Me Scared Poopless

2008-07-11T09:17:00.006-04:00

Happy birthday to my sister Elisa. It’s her birthday today and I have to thank her for something – my crippling fear of sharks. Yes, that’s right. She made me fear sharks. Against my parents better judgment, they let 3 year old me watch Jaws (it was a different time, I guess, where you let toddlers watch horror movies). My older sister picked up on the fact that I was scared sh*tless and used that movie as a torture device for years to come. She would chase me with the TV Guide whenever there was an ad for it in the small, black and white movie listings (yes, it was that bad). As I got older, the fear stayed with me. My parents took me to see Empire Strikes Back at the movies (probably a more appropriate choice) when I was a little older. There was an enormous cutout of Jaws 3-D in the lobby. I promptly covered my head with my jacket and walked into the cutout (I want to faint now just remembering). From that moment on, I could not walk into a Blockbuster without carefully avoiding the horror section (thank you Netflix!) Yes, I still jump and go into a cold sweat today when I see any of the 4 movie posters. I’ve seen all the films now many, many times (I can decide if 3-D or 4: The Revenge is more craptastic). I explain I can handle it if I know it’s coming. So, imagine my horror when I saw the news today -- Shark is Reported Off Martha's Vineyard. Not just any shark – a great white shark. In the same location the movie was filmed (the beach in the opening sequence!). This is a big freakin’ deal as despite what Mr. Spielberg showed, there are not supposed to be great white sharks off the coast of Massachusetts. They have closed the beaches and it’s all strangely reminiscent of the film. Here’s the kicker – my sister leaves for Cape Cod tomorrow (a hop, skip and a jump from the Vineyard). Swimming distances for big, hairy sharks. She has invited me to come stay with her for a few days. Needless to say, I am not going to visit her anytime soon! I think I’ll hide in an empty bathtub. With the drain plugged.

P.S. (Notice there are no pictures or IMDB links for this post – are you crazy?)

Cold Sake Hall of Fame: Murakami

2008-07-10T12:42:00.003-04:00

Kanye West kinda ruined my next hall of fame entrant by bringing him to the masses via his album cover for Graduation. I’m talking about the great Japanese contemporary artist, Takashi Murakami. You see, years ago before Kanye made his discovery, I got interested in the work of Murakami via an exhibit at the MFA Boston. He’s like the Japanese Andy Warhol (another favorite of mine), taking low culture and mass packaging it. He sells his designs in the form of figures, t-shirts, stuffed animals, and the beloved Louis Vuitton Monogram Multicolore bag line (with Marc Jacobs). This is how Kanye and Murakami first bonded, over a love of all things Louis. But that bums me out a bit, because he was mine before that (and maybe a few artsy hipsters). Now, though everyone may not know who he is by name, most are familiar with some of his work. Any douchebag with a Kanye West CD now knows his style. Or anyone shopping for illegal fake purses on Canal street covets the Louis bag. So, I still celebrate Murakami, as his mission of bringing high art to the mouth breathers (i.e. regular people) is succeedeing. But I was here first, Kanye. Step off! (Kanye knows I still love him . . .)

My Feud with The Feud

2008-07-09T08:57:00.003-04:00

Are you watching Celebrity Family Feud? We seem to be going through one of those cycles where game shows are back (remember the Millionaire craze of 1999?). There’s Million Dollar Password, The Price is Right Million Dollar Craptacular, etc (mind you that none of these shows actually give away money). But game shows are hot again (thanks writer’s strike). They aren’t the kind I normally like because I am a trivia girl myself (yes, I made it to the second round of auditions for World Series of Pop culture last year -- got through the wicked written exam, flunked the personality portion. Figures.). I would dominate on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, if only I could get on. But Family Feud – I have fond memories of this show from childhood. Richard Dawson always found a way to molest the female family members on camera, and then he would offer them a lollipop (sometimes with money in it). Ah, those were the days. I always thought my family of five would rock that show, if I could just get us all to California (never gonna happen). So, I must be content watching the B-cast of The Office go head to head with the American Gladiators. With jolly Al Roker as the host (who did he sleep with at NBC to get this gig?). I was annoyed with my gameplay last night as the cast of My Name as Earl, in character, went for the comedy answers instead of trying. It was not pretty. Either the comedy is more important than the game, or they are really that stupid. At any rate, I’ll stick to my classic Game Show Network when I want a good fix. With a side of trivia, please.

I Broke Something in Takashimaya

2008-07-08T09:39:00.003-04:00

My recent promotion of Takashimaya to the Cold Sake Hall of Fame got me thinking about my experiences there. We first discovered the Japanese Macy’s (on crack) during our first trip to NYC in 2002. I had heard Madonna and Gwenyth Paltrow shopped there, so I had to go see for myself. You see, I am a champion window shopper. I have non-shopped at some of the finest stores in the world. We walk around, comment on things, and leave empty handed, usually not being able to afford a shopping bag at a store like that. So, we toured the six tiny floors (and basement tea shop), used the pleasantly scented bathrooms, and that was that. In Tokyo, we discovered the real version of the miniature. It was six floors times 10 in terms of square footage. They even had a kimono boutique, a Boy Scouts (of

America

, mind you) badge outpost, and two gigantic basements with prepared foods and groceries. It was very posh, but very cold, which is a premium in August in

Japan

. Dying from heatstroke in Kyoto, we remembered this and charged the building for some sweet relief. So, back in New York last Christmas, walking the animatronic window route of 5^th Avenue, we decided to stop back in and pay our respects. Yes, we hung with Giorgio Armani. But then, the unthinkable happened. I broke something in Takashimaya. It was like that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie falls in Dior. I was poking through the cheap table on the ground floor (you know, for the window-shopping tourists) and came across a little set of glass test tube vases, in a glass base (sort like this). The glass was paper thin, like ribbon candy. Well, I picked up a test tube, looked at it, put it down, and then -- pop. A big crater had formed in the side of the test tube. I carefully slunk away from the table, my face red. No one seemed to notice. Eventually, I did buy a set of Travel Topic Cards, which really did help pass the time on the way home once we hit Connecticut. The good news is I got a super cool triangular Takashimaya shopping bag for my $10 purchase. The bad news? I don’t know if I’m allowed back. I’m hoping their induction into the Hall of Fame is a show of good will. Maybe we can work something out?

Coldsake Hall of Fame (It's Official!)

2008-07-07T09:47:00.001-04:00

Ahh, what a great long weekend. I was a pool bum since last Thursday, but now it’s back to reality Monday. I did get to thinking, while floating in the pool, wouldn’t it be great to officially kick off the Cold Sake Hall of Fame? I feel like I need to honor those who honor the Cold Sake spirit of fabulousness, with a touch of Eastern spunk. As I mentioned before, Megan Ward is definitely inducted for being on one of the best TV shows of all time (Party of Five) and being a former Japanese game show host. My addendum to Wednesday’s story included the Japanese department store, Takashimaya . We’ve been to both the Tokyo and NYC outposts and though very different, they are both wonderful. They’re in too. So, any Hall of Fame suggestions, send my way. Until then, check out the (hopefully) growing list, in the right nav. Kampai!

Oh, The People I Know!

2008-07-02T13:45:00.005-04:00

Yesterday’s post got me thinking about my general attitude towards famous people. I would love to say I’ve “met” many in my day, but there’s actually very few I have exchange physical contact with (or words for that matter). I have a “don’t tap on the glass and bother the animals” policy when it comes to celebrities. I will not go up to them if I see them on the street. The only time I have met famous people has been after waiting in line for hours. I figure, they don’t know me, I don’t want to bother them, and if we meet, the world will go on as before, so WTF. I don’t really see the point of getting a person’s signature on a piece of paper because what’s the point in that? I can sign my name too, you know. I think we learned the hard way not to bother the beautiful people when, at a Barenaked Ladies concert, we spotted Jason Priestley. The Hubby, in a completely out of character move, grabbed the diminutive Priestley by the shoulder, practically spun him around, and said “Hey man, I really liked 90210.” Priestley turned with a look of such venom, I thought The Hubby, even though he was half-a-foot taller, was going down. Priestly just replied “Thanks, man,” and continued to hurry wherever he was off to. From that point on, we don’t bother the animals. Here, however, is a chronological list with who I have met, been in the same room with, or kissed (in the case of Donny Osmond):

1978 – My grandparents flung me (a toddler) into the arms of Mr. Osmond during a concert. The Mormon god planted one right on my cheek. I’ve never been the same and it’s been downhill from there.

1980 – I stood in line at a car show in Worcester, MA, with my parents to meet Scott Baio. Mind you, at age five, my imaginary friend/ husband was Scott Baio (little did I know he wasn’t the marrying kind and the Playboy Mansion was more his speed). Upon meeting Cha-chi, I handed him an envelope of clippings about himself from 16 Magazine (what was a five year old doing with a copy of that, you might ask). He asked me for a kiss, I refused (I was not an easy five year old). My older sister got some, though, lucky bitch.

1992 – I debated with John Kerry in my high school auditorium (I was a misguided republican child, probably all those 16 Magazines). Little did I know I could have gotten tazed, bro.

1993 – Stood in line, in college, for New Kids on the Block. They were getting a star at the erstwhile Tower Records. I was doing it to be ironic, but I kinda got into it after waiting few hours. Joey McIntyre was the only one to make eye contact, bless him.

1995 – Does a book signing with Naomi Wolf count? Naw, didn’t think so.

1997 – On the way back from a grad school fair, we spotted Ringo Starr strolling down the street. A horde of screaming girls soon followed, just like the old days. I was so glad I did not join in as I later discovered he was in town for treatment for his daughter’s brain cancer. Eek.

1999 – The Priestley incident. And I met a few of the Barenaked Ladies, who were fortunately fully clothed.

2002 – In our trip to NYC, we see Richard Schiff from the West Wing, in Central Park, with his kids. We also accidentally walk through a Woody Allen movie set and see little Woody, looking like a tiny flasher in his raincoat. Oh, and a big haired Beyonce squirrelly dined across from us at Nobu. She looked very shifty.

2003 – Back to NYC, Richard Schiff is loitering outside a Broadway theater. We begin to suspect he is in fact stalking us.

2004 – At a meet and greet for Garden State, I get bored waiting to talk to Zach Braff and leave.

2007 – We meet Barrack Obama at a NH political thingy. Sadly, my body is cut off in the photo (dude is tall).

2008 – Anthony Rapp and Josh Ritter (and Natalie Merchant).

So, who have you “met”?

Addendum: The Hubby reminded me of two more touches with fame:

2004 -- While The Hubby was in Law School, we attended the yearly "law prom" at his school. Usually, they would have political guest speakers like Hans Blix, Supreme Court Justices, the usual riff raff. Well, this year they shelled out the coin for Bill O'Reilly. What an ass! He spoke for 5 minutes and then was gracious enough to sign autographs. I waited to get my program signed for my little Fox News watchin' grandma and he just growled and didn't look up. Definitely my least favorite famous person of all time!

2007 – On a pre-holiday trek to NYC, we saw Giorgio Armani on the housewares floor of the chichi Japanese department store, Takashimaya. He was standing there quietly poking around, looking leathery and fabulous, while members of his posse yelled “Giorgio!” from across the room, scurrying around. It was otherwise empty in there and the Hubby and I just looked at each other like “wow!”

Meeting and Greeting Josh Ritter

2008-07-01T13:59:00.005-04:00

So after Friday’s thrilling show, we were herded like cattle into the Something-Cahners room off the first balcony level. There was a little noise waiting to get into the room as there were some party crashers (VIPs only, nephew, step aside). It was a long and narrow room with high ceilings, 2 bars (cash), and two little balconies with doors (which we thought it would be cool if Josh entered from there and waived like The Queen). So, we got some beverages and settled in for the wait. I learned that Pops Punch, is actually alcoholic and a bargain at $2 a glass. Alas, since little Kiki is off the sauce until the arrival of Coldsake Jr. at the end of the year, I had to settle for some cranberry juice. The place got very packed with the nerdy ticket holders and actual friends and family. Within a half hour, members of the band filed in. I kept my distance, since I had no idea what their names were and they were receiving hugs from mom and dad (there were a handful of hipster Natalie Portman types in party dresses that I assumed were “the dates”). I soon noticed that people were getting their commemorative posters signed by the band. I was bored, they were all there, so I decided to “collect them all” (it felt like a weird scavenger hunt after a bit). I learned the band members are Zack Hickman (with the handlebar mustache, bass), Sam Kassirer (piano), Austin Nevins (guitar), Liam Hurley (drums). They were all very nice, fighting off hordes of pen wielding girls. There was lots of pen sharing going on and I felt like a big fat groupie. I also took a picture with Zach because you can’t say no to a photo op with a man with a mustache like that. Still, no sign off Josh. It was an hour later and the Hubby was starting to get cranky. And the room had gotten hot, very hot. Soon, all the families left. We went through one door and nothing was happening. I finally asked another kid and he pointed to the door we came in (I guess Josh never made it in the room). A line had already formed, snaking to the midway point (how did I miss that?). We got in at the end and waited. The line was not moving. And it was now the seventh circle of hell hot. I felt a pregnancy related puking/ passing out incident coming on (which I would have done if I thought it would get me to the front of the line) and sat down on some cool marble and waited. We realized Josh must be having a 15 minute personal conversation with EVERYONE. Finally, one of the line henchmen came out to announce Symphony Hal was throwing us out on our collective asses (!) but if we went to outside, he would be there. So, we decided to leave and be the first ones outside. Well, line henchman #2 decided they would lead us down in an orderly fashion from upstairs (!) so we had to go back. Luckily, we didn’t lose too much ground. We calmly walked into cooler (but muggy) air and waited some more. Thankfully, the line was moving. I only had to listen to slight off-key sing-alongs (groan) and boys gushing to their presumed girl friends how excited they were. Hmmm. Eventually, we got to the front of the line (but not before spying a tiny Natalie Merchant getting into Josh’s SUV limo. It was 80 and muggy, but she was wearing a heavy blue winter coat and thick black headband. And sensible shoes. She looked very old, like your grandma on the way to church. Double hmmm.) Anyway, Josh gave me and the hubby each a huge bear hug and proceeded to chat. Just chat, like he had no where else to be. He admitted he did make a ton of mistakes during the show, but I told him it was cool. We took a picture, he signed my poster, told me my necklace was badass (which it was), and gave another round of hugs! It was surreal, but worth the wait. I’ve met other performers who don’t make eye contact (I’m talking to you New Kids on the Block) and this was special indeed. I hope to meet Josh again next time he comes to my neck of the woods. Until then, he remains on high rotation on Itunes.

The Orchestra Was Gigantic

2008-06-30T13:24:00.005-04:00

Okay, I lied. I said I would post on Friday more about Josh Ritter, but I didn’t. I had to get ready for the show and I had no idea it would take me hours to prettify myself (it’s been a while). So, quick recap – I went to see my current favorite singer/ songwriter perform at Symphony Hall in Boston on Friday, accompanied by his band and members of the Boston Pops Orchestra. If you don’t know Josh’s music, it’s hard to describe. He’s poetic with influences of rock, country, folk, and rockabilly in his “sound” (that’s right, he has a “sound”). He’s like Bob Dylan, Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash, and Bruce Springsteen in a blender. Please check him out, so he’ll get really famous and I won’t think he’s cool anymore, and I’ll stop talking about him. Anyway, so Friday was the big show. I’d been to Symphony Hall in college once or twice when the hubby was in his classical music phase, but it’s usually not a ticket I run out for. When I heard Josh was going to be there (from his newsletter, dorky, I know) with the Pops, I was shaking trying to get tickets online. Happily, I scored two second row VIP tickets, including a meet and greet and a poster. Wow. See, there are benefits to getting into an artist on the ground floor, people. When I mentioned I was going to the show to most normal people, they said “Who??” so I didn’t know what to expect. Well, the place was sold out. My section, which were the cabaret tables, was all the hard-core fans (many of them seemed to know each other). Most people were nicely dressed (including a guy at the table in front, who, before the show, managed to spill an entire glass of red wine on his buddy’s khaki crotch. And break the glass. Twice. Way to class it up, kids). Drinks and snacks were available and the service seemed like they were on top of it. They were probably used to a much fancier crowd (the joint had a Kentucky Derby blueblood kind of vibe). I’ll admit I did not like the cabaret seating as it was too close for comfort. They guy to my left kind of wanted to make friends (and I am not friendly) and the people to my right kept insisting they were going to have to take the Hubby’s seat (who was a-peeing) since they had difficulty with counting to five and realizing there were enough seats at the table. But then, the show began! The Pops filed in, looking so classy and serious. Then, Josh and his band came onto the stage, looking hipster cool in suits. Josh was bubbling over with excitement. I thought he was going to pee himself (which is another reason why we love him – sometimes I think he’s having more fun than the audience, if that’s possible). Here’s the setlist that I grabbed from the forum (thanks to aurora borealis for posting for those of us with fuzzy memories):

idaho (solo)
best for the best (with pops)
other side (with band and pops)
rumors (with band and pops)
girl in the war (with band and pops)
wolves (with band)
monster ballads (with band and pops)
thin blue flame (with violin soloist)
the temptation of adam (with pops)
to the dogs or whoever (with band)
right moves (with band and pops)

robert pinsky - 2 poems
- the want bone
- the wave
(both poems read to edge of the world )

bone of song (solo until the final line, then pops)
kathleen (with band and pops)

ENCORE
wildfires – "for the people of burma" (with band)
empty hearts – with audience sing a long (with band and pops)

It was an amazing show. Josh was fantastic and pumped (so pumped, he screwed up a few times, which made it seem more genuine). His band sounded great, the Pops arrangements were beautiful (even though I wondered how many of the musicians knew who this kid was). Conductor John Mclaughlin and Josh kept winking at each other the whole time, so I could tell this was new to both of them. Former Poet Laureate Robert Pinsky’s poems were interesting (very sexual) but he also had a weird Bobby Deniro vibe going on. It was a great night and I didn’t want it to end. I posted Rumors from Youtube, which I think was the theme song for the whole show, and my favorite song, The Temptation of Adam. Enjoy and tomorrow I’ll recap the meet and greet, including a bear hug from Josh and how tiny Natalie Merchant looks in person!

Tomorrow’s Really Big Show

2008-06-26T13:52:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is an exciting day for me -- I’m going to see Mr. Josh Ritter at Symphony Hall in Boston, with the effing Boston Pops. I can barely contain myself. His orchestra is gigantic after all (see Rumors). I’ll post more on this tomorrow and a full recap on Monday, but for today, I leave you with a classic Ritter video from his last Letterman appearance:

I Survived Watching I Survived a Japanese Game Show

2008-06-25T08:28:00.002-04:00

Let me start by telling you that

Japan

is one of the most wonderful places in the whole world. It’s where I first met cold sake (as opposed to the warm stuff they feed you in local strip mall restaurants), not to mention the most gentle, polite people. So, when I heard there was going to be a new show called I Survived a Japanese Game Show I thought, cool, maybe they’ll show some behind-the-scenes culture and teach

America

how great

Japan

is. How wrong was I. They seem to have found the most sheltered boobs in America to bring to Japan. They’re spitting sake out (because it “tastes like lighter fluid” instead of the wine cooler they were expecting), they think mochi balls are like putty (not delicious bits of heaven they are) and they wear their shoes . . . indoors (everyone knows you take your shoes off, right?). One girl sees her darling little tatami mat and exclaims ‘I don’t want to sleep on the floor.” Sigh. I hope the Japanese get a good laugh at them (= us) because we deserve it for spending so much time saying how silly/ weird the Japanese are. I think most Americans think all Japanese people either shout like the Chairman on Iron Chef or are sumo wrestlers. This show doesn’t help. I suppose asking TV to educate is asking too much. I guess I’ll go back to my elitist green tea and mochi and shut the hell up.

The Art of Exaggeration

2008-06-24T09:05:00.002-04:00

I’ve been known to spin a large whale tale or too in my time, but it clarifications and mea culpas seem to be the theme of today’s headlines. Cases in point:

-Hoax of lost Amazon tribe

-Pregnant Teen: There Was No Pact

-Larry Birkhead Clarifies Comments

-Winehouse Dad's Overblown Diagnosis

Why all the exaggeration, jumping to conclusions, or just the out and out lies to and by the media lately? So, there’s no orange people tribe (or there is, but we've known about it for a while), no gang of pregnant teens (just a town with some confused girls), Larry Birkhead didn’t by Anna Nicole’s lingerie for their daughter now (it’s for later, thanks Dad), and Amy Winehouse is not on her deathbed (but we advise she stil should put down the crack pipe). Can we all get our stories straight from here on out? Well, I suppose that would create 100% less news because they wouldn’t need to write a retraction for every story. Maybe we can write longer more truthful articles and call it a day? No? Well, I tried.

Party of One: Megan Ward

2008-06-23T12:35:00.002-04:00

Last night, The Hubby made me watch a short marathon (2 episodes) of Party of Five while he had an ironing triathalon. Bless On Demand for giving us this gift. These episodes involved the short arc featuring Megan Ward as Jill – Bailey’s hard partying girlfriend, who will eventually meet her demise. She was channeled by Drew Barrymore in Mad Love, who was channeled by Kirsten Dunst in Crazy/ Beautiful (do you see a crazy girl theme?). It’s the age old story of drunk/ mentally unstable blonde girl meets nice boy who doesn’t realize he’s got his hands full until it’s too late. Boy tries to save girl, but it’s going to turn into in Aerosmith video at some point with Alicia Silverstone bungee jumping on the highway. Anyway, I enjoyed Megan Ward immensely on her pre-Po5 show, Class of ’96, which was a short year in the lives of freshmen (in ’93, natch) at an Ivy League school. It was my first year of college too, so I found the show very exciting, but it did not live to see another season. Luckily for Megan, she’s been on the righteous path of guest starring on serial dramas for the past 15 years, and is currently on General Hospital (she also did 7 episodes of Melrose Place!) And fun fact – she speaks Japanese and hosted a Japanese TV show at one point (due to her teen modeling there). I believe that earns her a spot in the Cold Sake Hall of Fame! Congrats, Megan!

What’s Up, Melrose Place?

2008-06-20T13:47:00.004-04:00

In order to make up for yesterday’s lack of a post (I was sleeping off a mid-week Anniversary bash with the Hubby), here’s a supersized post to last all weekend. Watching Swingtown (as a stop-gap effort until better television is on) has inspired me to check in with the cast of 90210’s slutty little sister, Melrose Place. I stopped watching it a couple of seasons in, around the time Allison became an alcoholic, but not before Kimberly turned into massive head wound Harry. Therefore, I’ll be checking in with the original season-one cast only, because we all know what Lisa Rinna and Kristin Davis are up to, yet don’t care what David Charvet is doing.

Grant Show (Jake Hansen) -- Originally the bridge between Melrose and Beverly Hills, via Kelly Taylor’s mom’s huppah. He now plays sleazy Tom Decker, the predatory pilot from Swingtown. I’m hoping he develops a soul (or even a personality) to keep the show from being the completely one-dimensional Time Life Hits of the 70’s CD collection commercial it currently is.

Andrew Shue (Billy Campbell) – Ah, the dopey soccer-obsessed puppy with a lisp we all loved. Where Shue ended and Billy began, we’ll never know. Seems like he’s been making soccer-themed movies the past few years (how did he miss a part in Ladybugs, you may be wondering?), founding various non-profits (remember “DO Something”? I so wanted to DO Something while reading about the group in Sassy Magazine but could never figure out something, exactly, to do.) and playing professional soccer around the world. Guess the guy found a hobby and is sticking to it!

Courtney Thorne-Smith (Allison Parker) – I always felt a kinship with ad exec Allison – we were both in the same profession, we both thought Andrew Shue was cute, we both drank Absolut straight from the freezer, er, scratch the last one. Poor Thorne-Smith has been toiling away the past few years on According to Jim, probably praying it gets cancelled so that she doesn’t have to make out with Jim Belushi any more. She also wrote a book, Outside In, and produced a baby. She’s been one busy lady. I hope she takes it easy on the vodka.

Thomas Calabro (Michael Mancini) – I always thought there was something shifty about building manager/ doctor Michael Mancini. Turns out there was as he morphed from loving husband to building sleazebag before our eyes. The most prolific of all cast members, clocking in 219 episodes, Calabro has been working steadily for the last ten years, doing guest spots around town (Nip/ Tuck, Cold Case) and most recently, an episode of Greek. It would be fun to get him on Desperate Housewives eventually (see below).

Josie Bissett (Jane Mancini) – Sweet, innocent Jane, with the Wilson Phillips hair. She had to put up with Michael, sister Sydney, Michael’s mistress Kimberly. It was always so much. Lately, Bisset has been doing infomercials and one or two guests spots, but not a ton. Maybe they can work her in to the 90210 spinoff in development at the CW?

Marcia Cross (Kimberly Shaw) – Arguably, currently the most A list of the bunch, she started as friend to Dr. Michael back in the day, as he experienced growing pains with wife Jane. She soon morphed into second wife of Michael, town crazy, and the one with the big scar on her head (one of the most memorable scenes of the series, IMO). Cross now resides on Wysteria Lane and keeps the paparazzi busy photographing shots of her playing with her twin daughters in the park. Only time will tell if that scar was real.

Doug Savant (Matt Fielding) – We knew him as Matt-the-gay-social-worker, who couldn’t catch a break (or a real story line). Savant is now Cross’s neighbor on Wysteria Lane on Desperate Housewives, which is funny since not a whisper of their past life in L.A. remains. In real life, Savant is also married to former cast member Laura Leighton. Who knew Matt had it in him!

Vanessa Williams (Rhonda Blair) – No, not that Vanessa Williams (SAG rules at the time forced the Ugly Betty star to be billed as Vanessa L. Williams). Rhonda’s reign at “the Place’ was limited to one season. She didn’t really fit in with the rest of the crowd. She was an aerobics instructor after all. With her departure, went the only diversity Melrose place would ever know. Williams has also been working steadily, her biggest project was the 2000-2004 series Soul Food, and an episode of Cold Case, of course.

Amy Locane (Sandy Louise Harling) – I was a big fan of Locane’s from School Ties and Cry-Baby, back in the day. Her character on Melrose was silly and probably why she was shipped off after only 12 episodes. Locane played Rhonda’s country roommate, Sandy, who also had a thing for Jake. In real life, Locane’s career seemed busy for a spell, but her filmography ends at 2005, presumably since she’s taken up motherhood full time (having had a baby last year).

Daphne Zuniga (Jo Reylnolds) -- Jo was Rhonda’s mysterious new roommate, after Sandy moved out. She had some sort of dark, mysterious past, which was so mysterious I can’t even remember what it was (maybe an estranged husband?) Zuniga, or Princess Vespa as I like to think of her, has had success in other series such as American Dreams and One Tree Hill. I see that there may be a Spaceballs animated series in her future (everyone loves a Druish princess).

Laura Leighton (Sydney Andrews) – When Jane’s little sister moved in (and moved on Jane’s husband), all hell began to break loose at the apartment. Leighton has had lots of short-lived series and pilots in the past few years mostly named after body parts (Skin or Eyes anyone?) and has also been married to Savant as mentioned above. I wonder if she comes to visit the set of Desperate Housewives if she and Kimberly ever “get into it” for old times sake.

Heather Locklear (Amanda Woodward) – Locklear’s addition to the cast was the end of a nice, sweet show about an apartment complex and the beginning of a slapfest with explosions and pool wrestling. Season’s later, she somehow maintained her “Special Guest Star” billing. Spin City was huge for her, and a bunch of TV movies and failed pilots have followed. Lately, she’s been busy in the tabloids, breaking off her marriage of 7 years to Richie Sambora, dating David Spade and Jack Wagner. I guess blondes have more fun, together.

And that concludes our recap of Melrose Place. We’ll see if I feel motivated enough to check up on the stars of Central Park West anytime soon!

30 Days to Change Your Life

2008-06-18T11:01:00.001-04:00

Now that This American Life has ended its miniature season, I am so happy to welcome 30 Days back into my summer TV lineup (no, it’s not a zombie movie). It’s the same kind of stories – human stories from around

America

, led by a hipster-in-disguise host. Instead of the heavily bespectacled Ira Glass, we have the handlebar mustached Morgan Spurlock. You may remember Morgan as the guy who stuffed his face with Big Macs and shakes for a month in Supersize Me. He now brings the same principal of doing something opposite of you for one month to others. This season, he’s already become a West Virginia coal minor, narrowly avoiding the dreaded “Black Lung,” while he hooked an NFL player up with a wheelchair, and sent a hunter to live with a PETA family. It’s usually less of a shouting match than Wife Swap, focusing on thoughtful discussion and debate rather than drama for ratings sake. I realized last night the situations are a little slanted to the left as he seems to take conservative people (like next week’s episode where a straight mom goes to live with a gay family) and plop them with a bunch of liberals, but they always meet somewhere in the middle by the end of the show and humanity wins. This concept has worked for the past three seasons, because you realize people are just people in the end. That is, until he tries to put a lingerie model with members of the Taliban. For now, I’ll tune in to see what wacky situations every is getting into and ponder if a burger, fries and a vanilla shake is really a bad idea, especially if you make that burger PETA-friendly veggie?

New Kid on the Blog

2008-06-17T09:07:00.001-04:00

I’ve been setting such a good example of procrastination through blogging at home that The Hubby has decided to get in on the act. I hereby introduce the Gourmet, all the way blog, where he cooks his way through the Gourmet Magazine Cookbook (I know, it sounds like food porn because it is). I am somehow expected to eat all of this (in which case he better make some friends for the meaty chapters). Best case scenario, we’ll get a book/movie deal, a la Julie Powell. Worst case, a major bout of indigestion (but less butter weight than the Julie Child cookbook was giving me). Believe me, I tried to push a raw cookbook, but he ain’t buying it, yet. So, check out his inaugural posts and hopefully my pop culture junkie readers and his gourmet friends can all get along (maybe we meet in the middle at Top Chef).

Liveblogging the Tonys – NOT!

2008-06-16T11:24:00.001-04:00

For a millisecond, I thought it would be fun to liveblog the Tony Awards last night. Then I realized the only two people who care are me and some lady with a thousand cats in New Jersey. If it makes it any more butch, I flipped between the awards and the Celtics game. Anyway, it was a pretty good show to pay 50% attention to (I was ripping articles out of old issues of Cooking Light from 2005) and it had some moments:

-The irascible Patti Lupone (best know to me as Corky’s mom on Life Goes On) took home the Best Actress in a Musical trophy, for her portrayal of Mama Rose in the revival of Gypsy. What a powerhouse!

-Some play called August: Osage County took home a bunch of awards, but I don’t really care because it’s a play and has talking, not enough singing and dancing. Life’s too short not to sing and dance on Broadway.

-Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped his acceptance speech for Best Score for In the Heights and the cast gave an incredible performance from the show. I am now itching to take the next Acela to NYC to see this show. It like the fortieth show to be called “The Next Rent,” but it seems like a modern, completely original show that I would enjoy. It also took home Best Musical.

-The cast of Passing Strange also performed and got down with a funky rock number. Stew, the brains behind the show, reminds me of Cee-lo from Gnarls Barkley, but that makes me love him even more. I don’t know if it’s Acela worthy, but maybe worth a drive?

-My people, the original cast of Rent performed. I know I’ve seen it a million times, but it still gives me goose bumps. Sigh.

-And the Celtics lost.

So that does it for awards season, until the Emmys in September. (I am avoiding the Daytime Emmys like the plague).

Top TV Dads Right Now

2008-06-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Because I honored current TV moms, I feel I must pay respect to the dads as well. Let me tell you, it’s slim pickings out there for good dad role models (a reflection of our times?). As you’ll notice, these are the same shows as the moms, but what can you do? It’s what I watch. So, off we go:

Joe Dubois (Medium) -- He’s got quite the load to split with wife Allison. They seem to share household duties, childrearing and transportation, while also on the lookout for employment. Not to mention it’s been years since he’s had a whole night of uninterrupted sleep, with her nightmares and all. Sure, he’s the Scully to her Mulder, always skeptical, but he goes along with sudden deafness, multiple personalities, and ghosts in the house. Living in a houseful of women with, uh, abilities, can’t be easy ( I wonder if the synch up).

Bill Henrickson (Big Love) – Bill has a lot going on – seven children (and one on the way), three wives, a booming business, a war with his compound-ruling in-laws, his crazy mother, brother, father, sister-in-law. He somehow manages all of it while never messing up his side part. And to think he was considering a fourth wife – is he crazy?

Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother) – Any dad that recounts every hookup of him and his friends to his kids can’t be all bad. Who knows? Maybe in the future, dads are more open about their sexual conquests. But Ted, who is your damn wife? You’re killing us.

Ignacio Suarez (Ugly Betty) – I wish my dad kept me in a constant supply of empanadas. But, the obsessive telenovela watching is a little annoying. He needs a ladyfriend or a hobby or something. I suppose if it prevents him from getting deported again, can’t hurt.

Hmmm, that’s about it. Grey’s has zippo dads, Michael may be a dad (sort of) on The Office (so we’ll catch him next year). And, I think all the dads on Lost are deceased (they have parent issues on that show). Did I miss any?

Kathryn Heigl Withrdraws from Emmy Race

2008-06-13T07:45:00.001-04:00

Kathryn Heigl has announced that she is withdrawing her name from Emmy nomination consideration this year because she feels she lacked the material on Grey’s Anatomy to qualify for such an honor. I hereby, in a move of solidarity, will withdraw my name as well. I really didn’t do anything on TV this year that would qualify me. Hell, while I’m at it, please withdraw any upcoming nominations for an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a Tony, a Nobel, a Pulitzer, and even a Razzie. I’m on the fence about the People’s Choice Award (it’s really the people’s decision, not mine). Oh, don’t forget about a Grammy, an AMA, a CMA (for my country fans), a Kid’s Choice Award, an MTV Popcorn thingy, and anything else you can possibly think of. But, this is for just this year only. I expect much juicier material in the upcoming year, based on what my agent, I mean my mom, is telling me.

Seriously, Heigl, you already won before. Could it possibly be that the Grey’s staff wanted to spread out a little this year and beef up the roles of underused talent, such as Chandra Wilson? No, not possible if the world revolves around you. Sheesh.

Top Chef Finale: Part Deux

2008-06-12T13:00:00.002-04:00

Alas, no pork was left out on the Top Chef Finale, but the episode was chock full of Lisa-tude. We begin in tropical Puerto Rico during an uncomfortable breakfast with Richard, Stephanie, and Lisa. Richard is already sending Lisa steely glances as he doesn’t think she belongs there (as do I). They are then introduced to three piles of festering meat and seafood, behind which stands their sous chef – Eric Ripert (!), April Bloomfield (!), and Dan Barber (!). Stephanie pairs with Ripert (wise choice), Richard takes Dan, and Lisa goes all girl power with April. What’s funny is watching Stephanie tell a Michelin chef how to fillet a fish and Richard showing the crowd some of his liquid nitrogen tricks. And Lisa just whines in the background. She keeps saying how un-nervous she is, which I’m hoping is the TV editing kiss of death. They adjourn for the day, to return the next day to the news it’s a sous-chef sick-out and they’re on their own. Richard is sweating it, Stephanie is doubtful of her abilities, and Lisa’s awesome (in her own mind). The dishes are presented, Lisa is over confident, Richard has decided to 86 his Tabasco ice-cream with oysters, and Stephanie is hating on her dessert. After the tasting of the 12 dishes commences, I deduce Stephanie and Lisa draw round one, Lisa takes two, Stephanie three, and Lisa (grumble) four. Lisa also comes to this conclusion and says this to Stephanie IN FRONT OF RICHARD, who has just confided to the judges that he has choked by way of pork belly. But my, does Tom Colicchio look dapper all cleaned up (but he’s still a dick). Oh, and why 9 judges? Where’s Nina Zagat for an even 10? Anywho, I was sweating by this point that Lisa would take it due to the rave reviews (even though only 4% of viewers wanted her to win, according to the call in poll). Thank Anthony Bourdain (you know, God), Stephanie won, well deserved (but it bums me out that Richard did so poorly, despite the well received bacon ice cream.) But wait, there’s more – a cast reunion next week. Can’t wait to see if Spike’s got a new hat!

Don't Just Sit There!

2008-06-11T09:39:00.002-04:00

In my trip down memory lane the other day, I was reminded of my favorite show from 1988 – Don’t Just Sit There. It was on Nickelodeon in the evening (maybe around 6 or 7 pm) and was a mix of Letterman and sketch comedy. It was hosted by four teens, Matt Brown, Wendy Douglas, B.J. Schaffer, Alie Smith, and later Will Friedle (the most famous of the bunch, for dating J-Love and starring on Boy Meets World after this). I thought this show was the bomb and never missed an episode (until it was cancelled). They even had a house band, Out of Order, and had superstar musical guests, like New Kids on the Block. Ring any bells, people? If anyone has any more info about this show or has clips, please send ‘em along!

Search for the Next Food Network Star (Maybe)

2008-06-10T09:09:00.002-04:00

So, with The Hubby’s new foodie obsession, I’ve not only been forced to watch the good (Top Chef), but also the bad (The Next Food Network Star). If you’re not familiar with the latter, it’s like the slow cousin of Top Chef. People, with less culinary training and skills, compete to be the next Rachael Ray. The food they cook doesn’t look or taste very good (and usually isn’t thoroughly cooked). Instead of a spot in Food and Wine, they get the less edgy Bon Apetit. The best part, if they win, they get their own show on Food Network (sort of). Sure, Guy Fieri, a past winner, is a big deal now in the chili dog crowd, but last year’s winner only hit the air a few times (at Sunday at 2pm) before she disappeared from the airwaves. So, you can scramble and claw your way to the top of Chelsea Market, impress judge Bobby Flay wit your spice rub, but if network VP Bob Tuschman still ain’t feelin’ it, you’ll be fired Trump-style.

Who Screwed Over Alanis the Most?

2008-06-09T13:18:00.002-04:00

We all know the story by now that the Alanis Morissette song “You Outta Know” was inspired by Dave “Joey Gladstone” Coulier (the stud with the moose puppet on Full House). That song was the angry girl anthem of the 90’s (until I discovered No Doubt, that is). Jagged Little Pill was arguably one of the best albums of it’s time and the best complete album by Morissette Then she went to India, got all Zen, and wrote nice songs about politeness (“Thank You”). Yeah, she had a few songs angry songs mixed into her later albums, such as that one about the producer who took advantage of her in her youth (“Hands Clean”), but she was still centered about the whole experience. So, what in the hell did Ryan Reynolds do to her to have reawoken the fury? On every talk show she’s been on she describes the last few years as “hitting rock bottom.” You mean worse than with Cool-yay? Is it the fact that Reynolds moved on to the younger, bustier Scarlett Johansson (good for Reynolds for sticking with the curvy girls at least)? Or did they implode for some other reason we’re not privy to (like Ryan forgot to separate the recycling)? Well, fans are thanking Reynolds for inspiring this burst of creativity, which we haven’t seen the likes of in years. I’m still waiting for the lost album from her Robin Sparkles phase, where she tells You Can’t Do That On Television co-star Alasdair Gillis to leave her the f@%$ alone.

Swingin in the 70’s

2008-06-06T12:20:00.001-04:00

I watched the premiere episode of the suburban spouse-swapping drama last night. Swingtown. I’m not sure what to think. It’s like Mad Men and Big Love, thrown in a blender and watered down with a constant heaping of a Dance Fever soundtrack, sprinkled with every other 70’s cliché you can imagine. A nice couple moves in across the street from the Cougarsons, who are constantly on the prowl for fresh meat (what’s up Grant Show?). I thought it would take at least 3 episodes before everyone ends up in bed together, Bob, Ted, Carol, and Alice-style, but it was a done deal by the end of the eppie. And I expected the nice lady to feel a little icky the next morning, but she was lovin’ life. Where do we go from here? Are they gonna conquer the super-freaked out lady a few blocks over (who was scrubbing her oven in horror at what she saw at the neighborhood BBQ, when we last saw her). The kids in the show were all way young and way intense looking themselves, so drama will ensue for them too, I’m sure. Also, I’m intrigued by the other lady that lives across the street (keep up) and covered her windows in tinfoil. Hmmm. On a good note, Liz Phair is scoring the show and she is my idoless. And http://www.last.fm/group/swingtown has the persistent soundtrack from last night (sadly, this link is un-Phair). So, I’ll tune in next week and see if I’m feelin’ the love yet for Swingtown.

Somebody Left Their Pork Out

2008-06-04T23:04:00.004-04:00

The Hubby exclaimed this during Top Chef finale (part une) last night and it immediately caught my attention and made me start watching (because, as far as I knew, it was Richard and 3 women, so . . .) It was a building episode to next week's big finale, but here are some observations:
-These dweebs had like 6 months to study Puerto Rican food -- they did that, right?
-Richard came thisclose to burning that faux hawk right off in an explosion of flames. That would have been cool.
-Lisa is a continuing study in negativity, yet SOMEHOW survived another week . Sheesh.
-It was Dale who left out Stephanie's pork, all night (yeah baby). And there was a split second when they considered using it (ewwwww).
-And why was Dale even there, you might ask? Well, Spike's back too, hat and all, to help Richard. Nikki and Andrew appeared as well (producers faves, perhaps?)
-Everytime Padma said the name of guest judge Wilo Benet, I expected a dwarf from a Ron Howard movie.
-Pigs are really gross.
-Antonio went home, so I don't have to hear about her daughter any more.
-Lisa stayed, so I have to listen to her whine. God, please, don't let her win!

Tune in next week, for more on Top Chef: 51st State Edition!

Ad-itude: Mohegan Sun Commercials

2008-06-04T11:11:00.001-04:00

Coming from a background in advertising, I have a thorough knowledge of ad campaigns using songs that are wildly inappropriate, such as Royal Caribbean using “Lust for Life,” (a song about drug addiction) in ads for their cruise ships. Well, there’s a new one to add to the list – the Mohegan Sun campaign that uses raunchy 80’s tunes, but rewrites the lyrics into a song and dance spectacular. Selections include “My Sharona” and “Superfreak.” Yeah, songs about underage relationships and freaky sex are a good way to market a casino that caters to old folks in Connecticut (I’ve been there, and you should be prepared to bring your whole social security check to cash in and a carton of cigarettes to smoke if you want to go along with the crowd. Just be sure to turn your oxygen machine down). I suppose the third spot, using Toto’s “Hold the Line,” is tame, but it still lame as it includes super goofy singing and dancing. Holy Martha Quinn! The Ad Wizards should be ashamed! Below, a sampling:

The Cougars Cometh!

2008-06-03T12:02:00.002-04:00

When I saw the sign the said “Cougars 4 Cook” during the American Idol finale, I knew something was going on. Now, look at the numbers for Sex in the City, co-starring Kim Cattrall as Samantha Jones, the O.G. cougar. Older women are embracing the new slang for a vivacious woman on the prowl for younger men. There’s even DateaCougar.com. Madonna is back, trying to save the world with young little Justin Timberlake. And Jennifer Anniston and John Mayer’s relationship is teetering on the edge of cougardom. I think there’s a very good reason for the recent feline explosion – cougars fall into the 40-60 age group. Guess who also falls into that age group? Baby boomers! There’s so damn many of them, they’re defining the way they are being perceived. Sure, it may be sexist, but the older chicks are definitely popularizing the next evolution of the MILF. This can only mean the Hormone Replacement Therapy and giant panties will be the next trends. I think I feel a hot flash coming on, and I mean HOT!

Another Round of Cosmos, Please!

2008-06-02T12:18:00.002-04:00

Wow. Way to go girl power. This weekend, the ladies came out en masse to kick Indy’s wrinkly old ass. And I saw all the action first hand. My local theater’s showings of Sex and the City were sold out all night and my friend and I ended up at the older, less fancy theater (more likely to get cinema muck on the stilettos, ya know?). The crowd was 98% women (and one scared looking guy) and so young! I figure the Cougar Patrol would be in full affect, but they all looked like high school girls. And they were a rowdy bunch, cheering at the opening titles, which is why you go opening night. The movie was fantastic (even though I didn’t forgive Big) and like an oversized episode with more meat. The ladies looked a little older (maybe it’s because one-foot-tall crow’s feet on the big screen is harder to ignore), but I thought that was cool that they look and seem to be acting their age, for the most part. Great cameos by Candice Bergen, Mario Cantone, and the rest of the extended SATC family, as well as (Renthed alert!) small part with Daphne Rubin Vega as a disillusioned society chick. I wasn’t really sure what the point of Jennifer Hudson’s role was (other than a nod to African-American and heavy girls), but she was good (not going to win another Oscar, though). Charlotte York makes me cry every time she talks (we have a lot in common). And, I’ve been somewhere before Miss Bradshaw (went to Bemelmans Bar at the Carlyle Hotel this Christmas. It’s a time warp of a bar, if you get the chance). So, the movie was not a let-down – it was everything I hoped and dreamed and more, and I wouldn’t complain if they had a really good story for a sequel. Sigh, another week, another obsolete box set!

Lost Without You

2008-05-30T11:39:00.000-04:00

Wow, last night was the end of one of the last shows from the '07-'08 TV season – Lost. Now, there is utterly, absolutely nothing on until July (when Mad Men is back), except for that one last episode of Lipstick Jungle hanging out on my DVR. I will miss you, Lost, until you return in January 2009 (!) Here’s what happened last night:

-We picked up where we left off in last season’s season finale, Jack McBeardy and Kate at the airport, talking about mystery man’s funeral. And the dead man is Jeremy Bentham? I smell new character!

-The castaways continue their various missions from 2 weeks ago – Jack looking for Ben and Locke, Sayid and Kate looking for Jack, a boatful of people looking for the freighter, Sgt. Jeter (as we call him, Keamy to you) looking for Ben and Locke, and Hurley looking for a place to whiz. Keamy has captured the surrendered Ben, Locke’s trying to figure out how the green house moves the island, and Hurley’s trying to figure out how these buried crackers stay so crispy.

-Meanwhile, all the Oceanic Six begin to get very paranoid due to a warning from Jeremy Bentham. Kate sees Claire’s ghost, Sun teams up with Caleb Nichol, I mean Bradford Meade, I mean Charles Widmore, Hurley plays chess with Mr. Ecko, Sayid is badass as ever, Jack is drunk, and Aaron is blonde. Oh, and Walt is a fully grown dude.

-Oh, and there’s a huge pile of Dy-no-mite on the freighter that leave Michael, Jin, and Desmond scratching their heads.

-So, Kate and Sayid team up with the other’s to rescue Ben, defining the phrase my enemy’s enemy is my friend. Once freed, Ben tells them, yeah, sure you can all leave now (wa wa wee wah?) Oh yeah, and I would double check Keamy, whom you just shot, because brother was wearing a bullet proof vest, fo shiz.

-Meanwhile, the other others (Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles) are all acting shifty. What do they know?

-Ben prepares to move the island using a giant microwave oven filled with metal. Keamy appears (told you) reveals his heart rate controls a bomb on the freighter and whoopsie, Ben kills him.

-In a cluster f@$%, Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sawyer and Hurley head to the about to be blowed up freighter on a fuel-leaking helicopter and need to dump weight (and no one looks at Hurley?) and Sawyer jumps. C’mon, we all know he woulda pushed Earthquake in real life. They land just in time to refuel and take off again, but manage to pick up Sun and Aaron, to her horror as Jin and Michael meet their maker (tear). Meanwhile, Ben has reached the fortress of solitude, turns a giant crank, and poof, the island is gone. Uh, what happened to Daniel and his latest batch of boaties? Juliet and Sawyer seem left to their own devices, with a bottle of Dharma rum and a wrinkle in time. That’s okay, because the Oceanic 6 plus Desmond and Frank find Penny’s boat (yay) and concoct some bullarky story about only the 6 of them surviving, to protect those on the missing island, which doesn’t make much sense since no one can find it anyway.

-And lastly, Jack McBeardy breaks into the funeral home where a scab-free Ben (for a change) tells him they all must return, all 6 of them. And, Jeremy Bentham is . . . .drumroll . . .John Locke?

Wow, gang, let’s talk about the next episode after we elect a new president.

Sex in My City

2008-05-29T11:48:00.001-04:00

Got your Manolos ready? Today is the day – Sex in the City premieres at a theater near you at 12:01am tonight (in case you were in a coma the past few weeks and missed the constant stream of appearances from SJP to Evan “Harry Goldenblatt” Handler). From what I’ve heard, it’s living up to the hype, more so than Indy. I want to see it as early as possible this weekend so that haters don’t taint me. As much as I tried to ignore any Indy press, seeing negative headlines were inevitable. I want to enter Carrie’s world with a clean slate and the hopeful nature of Charlotte. I already expressed my hopes and dreams for the characters, based on the preview and I really hope nothing gets irrecoverably broken. I liked where the TV show ended and this better be good. So, even though I don’t have the expectations of others’, I seem to have my own. It’s hard not to get attached to characters over the course of a decade and you start to think you own them, like little fashionable paper dolls. But alas, I’m not driving this cab (unless I want to partake in some uber-geeky SATC fan fiction – oh you know it exists) and I have to trust Michael Patrick King wouldn’t go through all of this effort just to let me down (and I will hunt you down if you do). So, pack a flask of cosmos, wear your most comfortable stilettos, and get ready to settle in. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got 94 episodes to start watching . . .NOW!

Indiana Jones Raiding the Alien Temple of Doom During the Last Crusade

2008-05-28T11:34:00.002-04:00

Ok, SPOILER ALERT (let’s get this over with). Don’t read this if you don’t want to know the plot details of the new movie. I didn’t want to be the one to give it away since it’s been as secretive as Area 51 (HINT HINT). So, all the cool kids have been hating on this movie, but I actually liked it. Does this make me a bad person? In this fourth installment, Indy goes in search of mystical crystal skulls with Marion and son (!) Mutt in tow (I would have loved the exchange “Don’t call me Junior, my name is Mutt.” “We named the dog Mutt.”) through Mayan temples in

Peru

(I know, problem right there). They are chased by a gang of Russian baddies led by Cate Blanchett (whose accent is a little messy) and when the skulls unite, the temple turns into a mashed potato mountain where the mothership beams up E.T. and his Speak n’ Spell. Yes, there are many unbelievable elements to the movie (such as Indy hiding from a mushroom cloud in a fridge) and a lot of people are bothered by the supernatural aspect of this movie. Uh, and the Ark of the Covenant melting Nazi faces or Mola Ram ripping people’s heart’s out is completely realistic? I liked how it had a very 50’s feel, down to the paranoia over Communism. I thought this movie had all of the elements of the previous movies that I loved (Action! Inside Jokes! Historical Fiction!) And, my favorite part was the motorcycle chase through the Marshall College campus as I’ve always been curious about that little seen part of Indy’s life. I also enjoyed the Jedi-esque jeep chase through the jungle as I was ducking in my seat from flying tires (either that or the guy kicking my chair made me paranoid. You know who you are buddy, fourth row, 9:30 show on 5/25 at the Loop.) Yes, Indy is disrespectful to the artifacts, but I feel like he gets a pass because he’s on a personal mission and not the usual trek for “fortune and glory”. I also liked how Indy and Marion are old and bloaty, but still kickin’ ass. Shia “The Motherf@*%!# Beef” LaBeouf did a good job channeling Brando and Dean. I smell new franchise! Mutt goes to

Cuba

, anyone?

Indiana Jones Revisited: The Last Installment

2008-05-27T11:52:00.002-04:00

So I saw The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull this weekend. Before I get to that (mañana, amigos), I also finished my DVD project, rewatching all of my now obsolete boxed set. So, I watched 1989’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade this weekend. I like this one second (after Temple of Doom) for so many reasons, a major one being Sean Connery. Yes, we know he’s sketchy (after telling Barbara Walters “You have to schmack a women with an open fisht,”) but I still think he’s great with Harrison Ford in the movie. The banter between them is great, and the casting for Henry Jones Sr. could not have been more perfect. I also love the opening with River Phoenix, as young Indy. He not only does a dead-on Harrison Ford impersonation (maybe all that time spent together on the Mosquito Coast, an awesome movie if you haven’t seen it), but I’m a sucker for an origin story and we get the fear of snakes, the hat, the scar, and the whip all explained. Last, but not least, in full geek disclosure, was a little bit of a King Arthur buff in my youth, so I loved this pre-Davinci Code tale of the Holy Grail (though every time I hear the knight say “You have chosen wisely,” at the end, I think of the Burger King/ collectible cup movie promotion for which they used that sound clip). Yes, there’s a ton of implausibility and continuity issues, like in all the movies (such as the tomb flooded with kerosene, can you open your eyes under that?), but you have to sit back and enjoy the camel ride. Tomorrow, my thoughts on Crystal Skulls.

And the McSteamy Stands Alone

2008-05-23T11:44:00.002-04:00

Whew – it was an exhausting but thorough episode of Grey’s Anatomy last night (warning – if you didn’t actually watch this episode, this post will be gibberish to you). In 2 hours, we wrapped up a ton and set the wheels in motion for next season. To recap, Meredith grew a backbone, served as a pimp with McDreamy to get a patient laid, actually tried to be good at her job for a change, visited her shrink (who apparently lives in her office 24/7 with no other patients), and then found 1 million candles to woo McDreamy. Phew. McDreamy wanted to then leave so he could break up with Nurse Rose and properly get down with Merry, but I say “Text the bitch!” On a side note, Merry (who decidedly is not) should have given crap to Derrick for being such an a-hole when brain cancer patient #1 died. Just ‘casue #2 lived doesn’t mean “I never want to see you again,” should be forgotten!

In other news, Ava/ Rebecca went to Crazytown, Karev has two mangerines, Yang perked up with the sparkle pager, put Hahn in her place, and then paid the teachin’ forward by making Lexi do a running whipstitch on a naner. George is hopefully going to be a real doc soon, Izzie also grew a backbone, Chief got the wife back (again?), Callie made out with Erica, and McSteamy stood alone (with thoughts of Callie and Erica to keep him warm). Oh, and the whole gang freed a kid from a chunk of cement. The best writing of the night was Bailey’s “seeing the big picture,” which seemed like a highly personal statement from creator Shonda Rhimes, who recently turned the keys of Private Practice (as Bailey turned the clinic over to Izzie) to someone else so she could focus on Grey’s (and it’s clearly paying off). The past few episodes have been stellar and back to why I first started watching this crap. So Lost ends next week, and then we move onto the summer reading list?

The Perils of Modern Technology

2008-05-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

The Hubby was late coming home last night, so I had to put my Idol watching on hold (and get through the last episodes of Lipstick Jungle on the DVR instead. I’m powering through.) Anyway, I set and forget the DVR, avoided the internet, and yelled “Don’t speak!” into the phone when my parents called (to gloat, I assumed) at 9:59 (their Archie fans). At 10, we started the show, fast forwarding through select segments of the performances (like Donna Summer’s, Bryan Adam’s, and George Michael’s new songs, all of Nash & White). I suffered through a Love Guru commercial as I needed to see where it was going, but quite enjoyed the thinly veiled, bizarre Tropic of Thunder commercial where Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr served as Gladys Knight’s Pips (why did Jack Black’s pants come off at the end though?). So, 2 hours of singing, dancing, and blah, blah, blah from Ryan (not to mention parading out all of the disabled people they like to make fun of during the auditions process) it was 3 minutes away from the final results. Aww, Simon apologized to D-Cook (to save face, perhaps?) Then, some nerdy guy came out with an envelope; Ryan opens it slowly, and announced the winner is “David!” And then my recording ended on my DVR. Bam, just like that. What a dope, I didn’t extend it in case they went over (which they always do!). The good news is that if one technology lets you down, another will likely come to your rescue. In this instance, Youtube. I got to watch the whole thing from where I left off, from where Ryan said “COOK!” (totally unexpectedly). There were tears, a look of utter disappointment from the Archuletta family, and by God, the winning original song! Sigh. It was all I hoped and dreamed (it included the words from the cliché generator rainbows, moment, living out loud. Awesome!). Thank you Youtube! Now, let’s see if Cook goes the way of a little blonde country singer or a gray haired soul singer (Soul Patrol!)!

Your American Idol

2008-05-21T11:13:00.002-04:00

Now that we have a female DWTS champ (Yay Guch!), it is time to turn our attention to the other big contest in the country (no, not Hilary vs. Barrack) American Idol. This is very important as the winner will be “crowned” tonight and go on to fame and fortune with a record contract, while the loser must clean the bathrooms at the Nokia Center, and er, probably get a record contract too. So, let’s recap. D-Cook was great as usual, adding emotional heft to U2’s "I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For", "Some Song We Never Heard Of", and Collective Soul’s "The World I Know". Simon was Mr. Poopy Pants and crapped all over he latter two performances, Randy told him he could sing the phone book, dawg, and Paula did her signature edition open-palmed clap and told him he was standing in his “truth” (ohhhh-kay). David “Mon Chi Chi” Archuletta belted out Elton John’s "Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me", "Another Song We’ve Never Heard Of", and John Lennon’s "Imagine". Randy told him he could sing the phone book, dawg, Paula gave him the open-palmed clap, and Simon proclaimed him the winner, all the while Archie tried not to projectile vomit on the stage (which would have been awesome, no?). He was probably afraid that his Danny Bonaduce look-alike dad would beat him after the show. I tried to vote for my boy D-Cook all night, but got a busy signal (and had a nightmare last night that I accidentally dialed for Archie), but I think Archie will win. I think a special award needs to go to D-Cook’s stylist as that boy used to look all Panic at the Disco! at the auditions. Either way, I predict success for both, and a few last Itunes downloads later today for me!

Unnecessary Duets

2008-05-20T11:22:00.002-04:00

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend lately – Maroon 5 doing the duet thang. I really think it’s unnecessary. Adam Levine sings just fine on his own, and his songs aren’t written (by him) as duets. First, Sarah Evans and the 5 teamed up for a night of CMT’s Crossroads. It was fine and they were good (Adam did his best to flirt with Sarah and make her seem more MILFy), but it would have been better as a boys-only show. Now, they’ve re-recorded “If I Never See Your Face Again” with Rihanna. Really? That song was just fine on the album. Is Rihanna that powerful in the music biz that they need her muscle to move albums? Did the suits think Maroon 5 was lacking a feminine touch? The same thing happened with the Black Eyed Peas – I liked them much more before some chick named Fergie (who?) joined the group. Sure, they’re a household name now, but who needs success over artistic merit? If the duet comes together naturally, like Justin and Madonna, that’s cool. I just don’t like it tacked on as an afterthought. So, in the tradition of good, well-planned duets, such as Jack White & Loretta Lynn or Alicia Keys and Usher, who would you like to see team up?

Indiana Jones Revisited Part Deux: Temple of Doom

2008-05-19T13:45:00.003-04:00

I know a lot of people do not like the second installment of the Indiana Jones series. It gets the same critique as Return of the Jedi – too cutesy, too slapstick. As this movie is the one I remember the most out of the three from my childhood, I have a special place for it in my heart. And, I call on it for inspiration to this day – when I get into a tight spot, I chant "Om Nam Shiva,” just like the guy being lowered into the fire pit. I can see the criticism though. It’s much goofier compared to 1 & 3, which are mostly serious with a few moments of comedy. And yes, Kate Capshaw as Willie is shrieky and not at all badass like Marion, but all the girls can’t be Indy clones (plus, it helps to shtupp the director!) Oh, and Short Round is one step above an Ewok, but he’s Data from Goonies, for cryin’ out loud and that makes him awesome. Here are some other things I noticed:

-The second installment is actually a prequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark, as it is set in 1935, one year before Raiders.

-Did I always know the Dan Akroyd is in the opening sequence? He’s the one the gets Indy on Lao Che’s plane.

-The nightclub at the beginning of the move is “Club Obi Wan”

-Could this movie be just a tad insulting to the people of India because it insinuates that Indian food is bugs, snakes, and monkey brains? Everyone now knows Indian food is delicious, but did people think it was hilarious in the 80’s because they though it was true?

-Short Round likens stepping on bugs to stepping on fortune cookies. In 1935, Short Round wouldn’t know what a fortune cookie was if he was a street thug living in China as they were invented in California less than two decades before. I’m just saying.

-Don’t the costumes and makeup of the Thuggee Cult seem more South Pacific island than Indian?

-The mine care sequence goes on for way too long, just like the racing sequence with Anakin in The Phantom Menace.

-Even though the special effects could be better, the bridge sequence is still pretty awesome.

-What’s cooler – Mola Ram’s bare-handed-hear-ectomy or the “Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique” from Kill Bill?

Okay, two down, one to go!

On another note, Happy Birthday Chewbacca! Peter Mayhew is 64!

Old Kids on Today’s Block

2008-05-16T13:49:00.001-04:00

My post today is late because I had to get up sooooooo early this morning to catch NKOTB on the plaza (8:45). That’s right – the New Kids on the Block performed for the throngs of lonely middle-aged woman at Rockerfeller Center on the Today Show this morning. It seemed like a bad omen because it was raining biblical proportions. Overweight women in tight homemade t-shirts had been lining up for days to catch a glimpse of their favorite man band. Despite the rain, the show went on. The Kids looked good – all fit and groomed (Jordan lost his Surreal Life paunch). It was very difficult to hear how they sounded because the Today Show was having audio problems and the levels seemed to go up and down throughout the songs and vary by mike. But, they still have style; they were once again rockin’ the vest, which is funny seeing vests were big last time they were around. The dance moves also haven’t changed in 20 years, but at least we can all dance along at home. They performed the big hits, “Hangin’ Tough”, “Please Don’t Go Girl”, and the long forgotten “Tonight.” They also performed their new song “Summertime,” which is no Timberlake (or Timbaland) style hit, but they get points for trying. So, get your nostalgia while it lasts this summer. Because I’m sure they’ll be back to their day jobs (reality shows and real estate) before the leaves change, but we’ll have a lot of fun in the meantime.

Please Give Jerry O’Connell a Job

2008-05-15T09:04:00.002-04:00

I’ve been worried about Jerry O’Connell lately. Ever since Carpoolers was cancelled, he doesn’t . . .seem . . .to . . .have . . .much . . to . . .do. He can’t ride his tandem bike with his supermodel wife because she actually has a job on Ugly Betty. Instead, he’s been spending his time spoofing Tom Cruise on the interwebs or appearing on Howard Stern’s Celebrity Superfan Trivia contest (he lost to Jimmy Kimmel and Jeff Probst; I got every question correct while playing along at home). Well, word has come as part of the network upfronts this week that he will be part of The Inn, the new Jason Batemen directed show on Fox (or Arrested Development methadone as BWE calls it). Glad to see Jerry will be busy again. Now you have to watch the show to keep kim outta my hair and off the streets. And can we just say for the record that I never expected he was going to be the hot one from Stand By Me? I had my money on Wil Wheaton.

I Don’t Eat Gerunds

2008-05-14T10:45:00.002-04:00

I’ve decided I’m adding a new restriction to my diet – I no longer will eat a gerund. A gerund is a verb’s action noun, which uses the –ing form. I’ve seen it in mass produced food titles and descriptions way too much lately. First, McDonald’s new Southern Style Crispy Chicken Sandwich is served on a “buttery-tasting roll.” I don’t want my sandwich to be tasting anything. Why is it "buttery tasting" and not just buttery? Is that because it’s a non nutritive food additive causing the taste? Then, there’s new McCormick Crusting Blends. They are an herb and breadcrumb mixture to crust chicken breast. But really, do I want my food crusting? Isn’t that traditionally a bad thing? Isn’t crusting something that happens to scabs? You know what’s another gerund? Food poisoning. So, I think it’s safe to say I’m avoiding all foods containing –ing. Next up, adjectives, such as Bagel-fuls (is that like helpful or careful?).

This American Nerd

2008-05-13T10:34:00.002-04:00

I’ve always had an aversion to NPR. People keep telling me how cool it is. I used to hear my co-workers go on and on about Car Talk, but it always sounded like Delicious Dish from SNL (today’s topic: Rice), but with transmission fluid instead of salt. My only previous experience with NPR was being stuck in a Berkshires B&B without TV (no CNN!) and it was the only station we could tune in on the little clock radio. It was okay, but it felt like a caveman version of modern cable. Well, I’ve been hearing so long about how good This American Life was. The new season began last Sunday on Showtime, so I DVR’d it. I figured if I liked it, maybe Public Radio wouldn’t be so bad after all. We just got around to watching it last night, and I’m already hooked. Ira Glass, the host, is my dream combination of Mark Cohen from Rent and Edward Norton – geeky cool (but a teeny bit old). And the stories were so captivating – cowboys in urban Philadelphia, a disabled man struggling to gain independence from his mother. It’s all so beautifully shot and edited. It’s getting a series recording on my DVR right now. So, maybe a little later, I might check out a little Sirius NPR in between Howard Stern’s commercial breaks. Can Garrison Keillor be too far off?

Indiana Jones Revisited: Part 1

2008-05-12T11:29:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned before, I’m prepping for the May 22 release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crytsal Skull (phew, what a mouthful) with a revisitation of the former trilogy. I started with Raiders of the Lost Ark, obvs. I was struck by Harrison Ford’s youth and handsomeness (could you imagine if he was your foxy Intro to Anthology prof?). 20 years does make a big difference, but he still looks good. And then I realized that I don’t think I ever paid attention to this movie before. I’ve owned the now soon-to-be-obsolete box set for a while now, watched this movie amidst scrapbooking marathons (don’t judge), and realized this weekend, I had no idea what was going to happen next. The only part I remembered was when the nazis’ faces melt at the end (scared the crap outta me when I was a kid). Karen Allen (Marion) was less annoying than I remember her (I think I merged her and look-alike Margo Kidder’s Lois Lane together in my mind). And that scene in her bar? Where she’s drinking a guy under the table to the cheers of the other patrons? I never knew that Charlie’s Angel 2: Full Throttle was spoofing that (duh). And it wasn’t nearly as boring as I remembered either. Still, I hold fast that it is my least favorite to date – the fight choreography isn’t crisp enough and Indy is still a rough sketch that gets filled in in subsequent movies. So, stay tuned as I work my way through Temple of Doom and Last Crusade! The race is on!

Top TV Moms Right Now

2008-05-09T09:08:00.002-04:00

Since it’s Mother’s Day and everyone is doing one of these lists, I figured I’d give you the Top TV Moms Right Now. Sure, you can find a list extolling the virtues of Donna Reed, Carol Brady, and Mrs. C., but who are the all-star moms in today’s mom-less environment (they keep killing ‘em off on Lost, and if only the boys on Entourage had a mom to answer to):
-Allison Dubois (Medium) – Sure, her family lives in constant fear she’ll attack them in the middle of the night reenacting one of her crazy dreams, but she does the best she can. She was working part-time for the District Attourney’s office while shuttling the kids back and forth from school, but now that neither her or husband Joe have a job, she seems to be working for free! They should take up a collection at the precint since Allison seems to do most of the work for Phoenix’s finest. In her sleep.
-Nora Walker (Brothers & Sisters) – Yeah, she may drink a little too much and spout of political rhetoric, but whose mom doesn’t? She graciously opened her home to her late husband’s bastard child and puts up with the nonsense of her five grown kids, all well remembering to take her Boniva.
-Lynette Scavo (Desperate Housewives) – Lynette may be raising a herd of future felons, but she’s recovering from cancer, running the family pizza shop with man-baby husband Tom, and fighting off the advances of sexy chef Jason Gedrick. Sounds like she’s got a pretty full plate. Lynette, it’s never too early to think military school.
-Martha Stewart – As I watch this show every morning, one thought runs predominantly through my head – thank God she ain’t my mother! Alexis seems to keep a safe distance from her mother, yet still manage to mooch off her radio channel on Sirius. We need people like Martha to make all of us feel inadequate (in the time I’ve been blogging, she already fed the chickens, made a pie, and hot glued gardenias to her dogs).
-Margene Henrickson (Big Love) – It’s got to be difficult to be the youngest of three sister wives. In fact, Margene sometimes seems like an additional child more than a wife. But, with two in her brood, and another on the way, this youngster helps first wife Barb keep the Henrickson ship afloat, and puts up with second wife Nicki, all while maintaining the sense of spunk tht caught Bill’s eye in the first place. I think Bill needs to buy her a puppy or something – she seems a bit lonely.
-Betty Draper (Mad Men) – Is the classic mom – she smokes and drinks while pregnant, can mix a mean martini, and keeps the house spotless all before Don arrives home on the 6pm train (unless he’s hanging out with one of his mistresses that night). I do worry about Betty, as prozac wasn’t invented yet in 1960. But hopefully she’ll settle down, take a macramé class and discover Erica Jong.
-Mrs. Mosby (How I Met Your Mother) – I don’t know what to think of Ted’s wife as I haven’t met her yet. But she will be Legen . . . . . wait for it . . . .Awesome!

Ellen Teaching Us Kids the New Slang

2008-05-08T10:03:00.001-04:00

Thank God for Ellen Degeneres. In the last few weeks, as part of a “What the Helll Are These Kids Talking About” segment on her show, she has explained to me and the other white ladies in the world what some of the new slang means. In the past weeks, we have learned what Shawty (a female, not necessarily of short stature), Boo (as term of affection for a male or female), and “Drop It Like It’s Hot” (actually, she didn’t really know). This week’s show featured the vocab phrase “honky tonk badonkadonk,” which is good because I had no idea how that was spelled (I believe it’s a country behind). This hearby serves as a notice to the rap community to stop using these phrases – they are officially dead after having been introduced to middle America (as “bling” was corrupted so long ago). If my mom knows what a badonkadonk is, it’s over. This belongs on StuffWhitePeopleLike.com -- #101 Talking Like a Black Person. Next up, my mom uses “Riding Dirty” in a sentence and calls the next-door neighbor a “chicken-head.”.

And continuing with our theme, here’s a classic clip called “Stewardess, I Speak Jive!”

Josh Groban’s New Street Cred

2008-05-07T08:55:00.002-04:00

I’ll admit it – back around 2002 I was what you would consider a “Grobanite.” I thought Josh Groban had an amazing voice and I liked his contemporary spin on Opera classics, as well as his heart-tugging original songs (there’s never a dry eye when he sings “To Where You Are” live). He brought warmth to my cold, hard heart. Then, a little red headed man came along and changed everything – Clay Aiken. I was also stirred by his rendition of “Vincent” (also covered by Groban) on American Idol (even though he forgot the words) and I quickly threw my support to Aiken, over eventual winner Rueben. Clay seemed like a nice kid with a good voice and fluttery lashes. But then, after the show was over, things started to happen. He started to get kind of weird and hit the flat iron too hard. And, I started noticing only menopausal women like Clay Aiken. I lost total interest and my love for Josh Groban was taken down in the process. I was no longer a Claymate or a Grobanite. Suddenly, Josh Groban seems to be back. First, he earned total street cred for appearing in the Jimmy Kimmel/ Ben Affleck video (a performance laced with utter profanity). Now, he’s made People Magazine “Most Beautiful People” list (it’s not that crazy – he did used to date January Jones, aka Mrs. Don Draper on Mad Men). Groban is heavy on the cheez whiz, but he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. I don’t think I’ll be running out to buy Awake Live (his new album) anytime soon, but maybe I won’t fast forward next time “For Always” comes up on the shuffle. In between hot flashes.

Brothers & Sisters, In Love (Ewww)

2008-05-06T08:34:00.002-04:00

On Brother’s & Sisters, Rebecca and Justin have been building up a season of sexual tension. It’s been building and building into what could be a delicious season finale resolution. The one problem with this scenario? Until this Sunday, Rebecca and Justin thought they were brother and sister (ewwwwwwwww). I think (and please correct me if I’m wrong), this is the first primetime TV show to ever dable with this level of incest (the twisted family tree on the OC not counting as Ryan was adopted and Marissa would only have been his step-aunt, as was Lindsey). So, edgy, yeah you can say that. I don’t think it was initially intentional, though. When Justin hit it off with his similar in age long lost half-sister, Rebecca, I don’t think the producers knew that actors David Annable and Emily VanCamp would end up dating and real-life, therefore bringing an unexpected chemistry to the small screen. Thankfully, they’ve decided to go with it and Rebecca and Justin just found out they do not share a father and they’re allowing the sparks to officially fly (and you don’t feel so dirty after every episode). They’re free to hit it, residual emotional scarring aside. Still, if they get married, the holidays should be interesting, but par for the course for the Walker clan.

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

2008-05-05T11:26:00.002-04:00

Happy Cinquo de Mayo. So I was watching the Kentucky Derby this weekend, and to make it interesting, The Hubby and I decided to pick a horse to root for. Big Brown (or Hot Brown as I called him, like the sandwich, or something far grosser) seemed like the obvious choice and therefore boring. All day, I had I Can Hear the Bells from Hairspray stuck in my head, so I decided to cheer on Eight Belles. The Hubby went for Cowboy Cal (maybe because it sounds like a Pee-Wee sidekick?). Well, it was a great, short race with Hot Brown galloping to victory. But Eight Belles was right behind and came in second. Yay, so exciting. Well, not a minute later, we realize Eight Belles was hurt and they’re bringing the horsey ambulance. Before we found out what the problem even was – Eight Belles had been euthanized on the track. What?! You killed my horse? What a freakin’ let down. Who cares about Hot Brown now as the whole race has turned into a Hot Brown Mess. Does that mean that I know how to pick a winner or what? First, place wins a set of steak knives, second place gets shot! Sheesh. Rest in peace Eight Belles (which incidentally is a play on words. “Eight bells” signify the ends of sailor’s watch on a ship). Oh, and Cowboy Cal came in 9th, fyi.

P.S. In the spirit of My Kentucky Weekend (you’re going to have to wait until Wednesday for the Derby Pie and Hot Brown sandwiches due to my busy schedule this weekend and burritos today, ole!) including a viewing of Elizabethtown (not the best movie, but I get it, and we’ve all known failure in our lives), here’s a winner of a song from My Old Kentucky Blog, a super-cool remix of Josh Ritter’s Rumors.

Skin Cancer is Hot!

2008-05-02T09:16:00.002-04:00

Hey all, it’s skin cancer awareness month, so you need to do what all the cool kids are doing and see your dermatologist for a screening. And if the doctor does find something fishy, fear not, it’s “in” right now. Anderson Cooper, Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman , and John McCain are all sporting scars. Cindy Crawford, Laura Bush, Eric Dane, Cybill Shepherd, and Elizabeth Taylor have all had brushes with it in the past.

Oh, and don’t forget about moi.

Marcia Cross and Kristen Bell are even serving as hot spokesmodels for Olay and Jergens to promote their respective sunless tanning lines.

So, get screened, wear suncscreen (like the song says), and just say no to tanning beds.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by Coldsake.

Summer TV, Where Are You?

2008-05-01T09:19:00.003-04:00

Now that my favorite network shows are coming to their season finales (suddenly, it seems, after just coming back from the writer’s strike), what am I going to watch this summer? Usually, HBO has a good pack of summer shows ready to go when the lights are off at The Office for the season. So, what’s going on with my favorite shows?

Big Love
Now that the real-life FLDS compound has been raided, what is the fate of the Hendrickson Clan (the only family that makes polygamy not seem so icky)? Well, thank you strike, but the word is October/ November! Yikes, guess I just have to pull up a bucket of popcorn and squint at CNN (pretending one of the ladies in a prairie dress is Nicki). (Ed. Note (that’s me) Don’t go near the Big Love Forumns on HBO.com. Under the Season 3 Thread, where you would expect a date, people are arguing over the fundamental similarities between tables and strippers. Hmmm.) But, do feel free to take the “Which Sister Wife Are You” Quiz (I’m somehow a Nicki – not!)

Entourage
What have Vince, E, Drama, Turtle and Ari been up to (besides trying to pick up beautiful women and sitting courtside?) Well, we’ll find out this fall too. In the meantime, you can dress like a douchebag from the HBO store (can I start a petition to oficiallt retire “Hug It Out Bitch?” We especially don’t need it on a sweatshirt).

Tell Me You Love Me
As this show was practically soft porn, I’m embarrassed to admit I kinda liked it (except for the young girl, who I always wanted to punch in the face. Dunno). I’m not even sure how they can have a second season – two threads were tied up and one wasn’t. Will they bring in a whole new cast for marriage therapy (or just merge this with In Treatment)? Season 2 has been confirmed, but no word on when (and, thank God, there’s no games for you to play on the HBO website. Eww).

Enough with HBO, now. What about AMC (a channel previously dedicated to Jaws and One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)?

Mad Men
My last memory of Mad Men was throwing up on Labor Day from drinking too many Dark n’ Stormies (ughhh, ginger beer). So, I forget where the show left off, but I do know that (Spolier!) Peggy had a surprise baby, Don Draper was mysterious as ever, and Mrs. Draper is going bananas. I found out that (wait for it) . . .

. . . Season 2 premieres in July (hooray, finally something to do this summer!) Now I must go delete all the unwatched episodes of Lipstick Jungle on my DVR and make some room!

Chef for Sale

2008-04-30T08:11:00.003-04:00

Do you want to purchase a large ginger Italian chef with a penchant for booze, coke, and eating things out of the garbage (source: Heat)? Because there is one on the market. It’s the trendy thing to do. The miniature versions seem to be the most popular -- Martha Stewart just bought a good-luck troll edition (Emeril Lagasse) to bat around like a bored kitten during her daily TV show. Oprah bought two. First, there’s the little Brittish one under the guise of being a charity judge (Jamie Oliver). He comes with his own track jacket, pint, and comedy sayings (Pukka Tukka!). She bought a girl one too, but it’s getting kind of worn out and she may be getting ready to sell soon (Rachael Ray). She’s got her own catch phrases too (Delish! EVOO!) and sidekick (band-geek husband John Cusimano). Mario Batali can be yours too, for the low-low price of a reality show (I’m looking at you, Donald Trump). I myself am saving up for the tall, hard-living kind complete with thumb rings and a 3-pack a day habit (Anthony Bourdain). Though, the semi-drunk, semi-decorating, semi-cook may be semi-fun too (Sandra Lee). Half price.

Amy Poehler is Going to Be an Actual Baby Mama

2008-04-29T10:11:00.004-04:00

One addendum to yesterday’s post – it looks like Amy Poehler has some wonderful news of her own that she somehow failed to mentioned on her promotional tour with Tina Fey – she’s got an Arnett in the oven (it's was totes obvs on The View. Wonder why she waited until after opening weekend to confirm). Such great news. They’ve been together a while and it’s about time. This will be one funny kid. I think it’s wonderful how progressive their relationship is. You still don’t see a lot of interracial marriages in Hollywood. I wonder if the baby will look more causcasian like her, or pumpkin like him.

Seriously, Will, cool it with the spray tan! They're going to sell you at a farmer's market if you don't watch it!

This concludes all coverage of Baby Mama.

Baby Mama Boom

2008-04-28T09:21:00.003-04:00

This weekend, I made the rare decision to go see a movie during opening weekend (Baby Mama). I though it was good (with the exception of some biological inaccuracies and some stuff that’s a little creepy in retrospect). But, it was better then any Will Ferrel nonsense I’ve seen in a while. Something struck my as interesting while I was watching it – in the movie, Tina Fey plays a V.P. of a Whole Foods-type supermarket chain. She has focused on her career and she is now past her child-bearing prime, which is why she ends up hiring Amy Poehler to be her surrogate. What funny about this is that it reminds me of Baby Boom, in a way. In the 1987 Diane Keaton movie, she plays J.C. Wiatt, who is also vying for partner at an ad agency (whose client is a supermarket, called Food Chain). In Diane Keaton’s case, her character has initially decided against motherhood in favor of career. Through the course of the movie, she inherits a baby (through a very convoluted circumstance) and decides to embrace motherhood and abandon her career. She moves to Vermont, where she eventually creates a line of gourmet baby food. At the end, she is offered a deal to take her Country Baby line national (with all the trappings of success), but she instead decides to stay small and spend time with her child. In Baby Boom, the generation seemed to say “You Can Have it All,” but with some sacrifices. In Baby Mama, her job initially distracted her from reaching her goal of motherhood, but it’s not an issue by the end. She seems to remain the same career girl she was at the beginning. What does this mean for a message? “You can have it all, but just don’t wait too long?” Or am I insane trying to infer a feminist message from a comedy where Amy Poehler wants to spray Pam on her hoo-ha?

Where in the F@$% is Matt Lauer?

2008-04-25T09:16:00.003-04:00

It’s that time again, kids. Matt Lauer gets a week away from Meredith rubbing his knee under the console (you cougar!) and will randomly appear somewhere on the planet on Monday morning (after much poor guessing by his colleagues). Where will his travels take him this time? Will he actually go somewhere cool (like the Playboy Mansion)? What that you say, budget cuts (ok, then Joe Francis’s house).

So this is the clue they give us?

He’s totally going to be at Shutters, that hip hotel in L.A. Right? Wow, that's kind of lame. Must be a green thing.

Oh yeah, and happy 100th post to ME!

An Open Letter to Ryan

2008-04-25T09:08:00.004-04:00

Ryan, it’s great that you’ve had so much success at such a young age. Going from intern to the corporate offices at Dunder Mifflin? Impressive. But, if you were a bit of a tool in B-school (as is everybody), then you’re a real douchebag now. You’ve got to cool it with the Peruvian marching powder, now. Just say no, like Nancy Reagan told you (oh, maybe you’re a bit young for that). Keep going at this rate, and you’ll get fired. Or be hired to management at a major advertising agency. Either way, it’s up to you.

P.S. If you ever hope to get laid again, you need better wingmen than Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, and a Hobbit.

Spike Consummates His Relationship with Butternut Squash Soup

2008-04-24T09:23:00.002-04:00

If you’ve been watching Top Chef the last few weeks, you may have notices Spike’s budding romance with Butternut Squash Soup. During a team challenge 2 weeks ago, his teammates talked him down from the soup, but not before he said “Butternut Squash Soup” like 9,000 times. It was clearly crazy, yet unrequited love. Well, last night Spike and his soup went all the way, with the theme of "Yellow Love Vanilla," no less. In the hazy afterglow of their love, he almost won the challenge with his partner, Andrew, but alas, Richard and Dale stole the top spot with "Green Perplexed Tofu". What’s next for Spike? Will he stay true to his Squash or will his attention stray now that he has made his conquest? Tune in next week for the Microwave-only challenge (Mark Bittman, eat your heart out!)

P.S. Here is the recipe for Squash Soup with Vanilla Crème Fraiche.

Memories of American Idol

2008-04-23T08:40:00.002-04:00

I am absolutely raring to go today after attending a local food festival last night, which goal seemed to be how many Styrofoam plates you can use, on Earth Day, no less. Anyway, I find that before any episode of Idol, it helps to watch Entertainment Weekly’s Idolatry. The theme last night was Andrew Lloyd Webber, who is your sorta genius but definitely goofy uncle from England. Idolatry picked so many good song choices for the idols, and Carly seemed to be the only one to end up singing their smart choices (and that was only because Webber told her she absolutely had to sing Superstar instead of All I Ask of You. Duh. Here’s the breakdown:

-Syesha suddenly came alive last night with a saucy rendition of "One Rock & Roll Too Many" from "Starlight Express," sans rollerskates. Where has this Syesha been all this time? She finally wasn’t boring!

-Spicoli, uh, I mean Jason Castro butchered “Memory” from Cats. There’s so many ways this went wrong. First, it was the wrong song for him as he’s not a “Glamourpuss” as Webber said. Second, he could have made the arrangement stoner-ific with a nice bongo backbeat and make it sound like something he may actually sing. Bad, bad, bad. It was the longest two minutes, as Simon said.

-Oh, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. You tried to best Madonna with “You Must Love Me" from Evita. First, Sir Webber can tell you have no freakin’ clue what the song is about. Then, you were trying so hard to act emotional YOU FORGOT THE WORDS. And Madonna came across as a better singer. Do you know how impossible that is?

-My little Mogwai, David Archuleta, rocked the house with "Think of Me" from Phantom. It was smooth, dramatic, and a bit popped-up. I have a new respect for the little man with the big voice. Well done!

-Carly Smithson wisely took Webber’s advice, as I mentioned, and did a killer “Superstar” from Jesus Christ Superstar. It was the perfect song for her after all and she finally looked comfortable in her own tattooed skin. I hope she sticks around now.

-Finally, David Cook, or Daughtry-in-a-Wig, did an awesomely understated "Music of the Night" from Phantom. It was slightly goth and his voice had a little rock tinge, but it wasn’t some crazy Soundgarden arrangement. It was classic and subtle. I was afraid he was going to get predictable, just as he was getting good. Folks, we have a winner.

So, aud wiedersehen Brooke. And then, there were 5.

The Theremin Show

2008-04-22T08:25:00.002-04:00

Daily Candy introduced me to Japan Trend Shop, which seems to be a collection of the cute or bizarre, such as a Knee Lap Pillow or Heart Shape Cucumber Mold. By far the strangest, however is Matryomin Theremin in Matryoshka. I almost had to diagram this sentence to figure out what this was (with the demonstration video, below, just confusing me more). Accoridng to Wikipedia, a Theremin is an electronic musical instrument that you play without touching. Instead, you wave your hands over two antennas, one for frequency and one for volume. A Matryomin is specific version of the Theremin and a Matryoska is a russian nesting doll, that holds all the fun, in this instance. For $599, the meoldic screech of this doll can be yours! That is, unless you’re saving for a Hello Kitty Grand Piano!