Kiki's Home for Reality Stars and Wayward Celebutantes

Maybe it's my mothering instinct, but while watching MTV shows (I know, which I am way too old to be doing, see The Gig Girl's post on being a Middle Aged Teenager) I have an overwhelming urge to adopt the "kids" on that show.  It all started with Jersey Shore's Snooki.  She seems like such a nice girl.  She's loves pickles, dancing and is looking for her Prince "Hot Juiced Tan Gorilla" Charming.  Unfortunately, she is looking for, as the song goes, love in all the wrong places -- such as the hot tub (where she hooked up with a roommate known as "The Situation," never a good sign), or in the club, where she did a cartwheel showing off her thong and everything else.  Her parents, as seen on the show, seem like perfectly nice folks.  So where did they go wrong?  Maybe she just needs a little guidance.  That's where I come in.  Maybe I can invite Snooki into my home, and show her what it's like to be a "good Italian girl."  We live in a great neighborhood -- there's an Italian bakery, deli, and a gelato shop.  I'll buy her some tailored pants and turtlenecks.  She can GTL to her heart's content (Groceries, Toilet Cleaning and Laundry).  But why stop at Snooks?  Those Teen Moms on MTV could sure use a boost (have you seen Catelyn and Farrah's moms?)  And don't forget about Paris and Lindsay.  Maybe we're on to something.  Come on, girls!  There's room for everyone.  Do you think I could score some free babysitting out of this deal.  Mmm, maybe not.

Meet My Sister!

Introducing the newest member of the Cold Sake family -- Cold Sake Will Travel.  It's my work-in-progress travel blog of the last decade.  I'll be catching up as as fast as I can and sharing the best of my travels, with a focus on budget U.S. travel, with a little of The Good Life thrown in for a little extra flavor. Be sure to check out! Kanpai!

I Love Rock n' Roll

I heard a great song on the radio today -- "I Hate Myself for Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. The DJ was playing it in honor of "The Runaways", the Kristen Stewart-as-Joan Jett biopic that opens tonight. I was surprised that after all this time, the song still sounds so fresh and current. It's impossible not to see the similarities between Jett and someone contemporary like Ida Maria. Check out Maria's "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" -- the bookend to Jett's song. Same raspy voice, same commanding beat. Makes you wonder how much music owes to Joan Jett -- would we have a Courtney Love or even a Liz Phair without Jett? I don't know how the movie will do (will it get a lot of Twi-hard traffic?) but it reminds us of a great, nearly forgotten voice in rock.

What They're Saying About Kiki

Two posts in one day? Little guy is taking a championship-level nap, so I have some time. I check my stats today, which I haven't done in a year. It's pretty hilarious that my top links continue to be my posts on beards (best and worst) and Miley's brother (this will probably get me 800 more hits. That post is the gift that keeps on givng). The funniest referral I'm getting is from a beard forum. I got over 300 hits in the last year! Apparently, I am the antichrist in their eyes, a guy, and a beard-hating moron (eh, they got a few right I guess). I think it's funny that they're taking this so seriously. So, once and for all guys, I don't hate ALL beards -- just YOURS! Keep the referrals coming folks, (I'm talking to you, fans of Dr. Will Kirby!) I'll get that top ten list of best moles one of these days!

Kiki's Brush with the Bigtime

Way back in 2007, when I was working in advertising, I worked on a campaign for TAG Body Spray. This was by far one of the more glamorous jobs I had as a producer as I got to arrange a photo and video shoot in NYC, complete with models and swimsuits. The shoot turned into a bit of a cluster-F in 90 degree, cramped office space in a high-rise with no A/C and no swimsuits. I spent the better part of the morning riding taxis around Manhattan looking for sexy but tiny swimsuits, in July, when most stores are stocking Back to School. But that's another story. My point is the one of my models was Michaela McManus. Then, she was just a struggling model/ actress. She was quiet and lovely, and even more beautiful in person. She read a raunchy innuendo-laced script with humor and grace, wore the tacky swimsuit I bought, and stayed professional while we all sweated like Al Gore in a rain forest. It was fun working with models that day as my usual experiences as a producer involved searching for mannequins, not humans. After the shoot, Micheala hit the big time, landing stint on One Tree Hill, Law and Order SVU, and now Nomads, an Alias-like pilot for the CW. She was even called "underrated" by Entertainment Weekly. Way to go, Michaela! I wonder where that mannequin from the Talbots ad is now. . .

Kiki Comes Out of Hibernation Long Enough to Make Oscar Picks

With the Oscars tonight, I thought it was my duty to let you know what my Oscar picks are. No, I haven't seen every movie -- just Avatar and what's available on DVD. No, I have no authority. Just a well thumbed through copy of EW and several office Oscar pool wins under my belt. So here goes:

LEADING ACTOR
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” -- It's clearly his year, this being the year of "The Dude."

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds” -- Woody H may have a shot, but I believe the award will go to Waltz for his turn as a charming Nazi, if ever there was such a thing.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” -- Duh. It's a given.

LEADING ACTRESS
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia” -- This is a tough one. Everyone is saying Sandra Bullock is a lock, but I feel like Streep had to work so much harder to play Julia Child than Bullock did in "The Blind Side." I think the voters will recognize that. Streep has become the Susan Lucci of this award show (partly because I think voters figure there's always next year for her and she's already won before), but I think it's her night tonight.

ANIMATED FEATURE
Up -- I think Pixar will take it yet again.

ART DIRECTION and CINEMATOGRAPHY
Avatar -- I think Avatar has these categories locked up.

COSTUME DESIGN
The Young Victoria -- Period pieces always get the costume award.

DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker" -- I hope on this one, that history is made. James Cameron was great, but there was a lot of technical heavy lifting behind "Avatar." "The Hurt Locker" was a perfect, tight, well directed film and I think Bigelow will be rewarded tonight.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
The Cove -- Dolphins rule.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
Music by Prudence

FILM EDITING
The Hurt Locker -- This movie was perfectly edited. "Avatar" was not (and could have been an hur shorter!)

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
El Secreto de Sus Ojos -- So says the gods at EW, and so I'm going with it . . .

MAKEUP
Star Trek

ORIGINAL SCORE
Up

ORIGINAL SONG
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart”

ANIMATED SHORT FILM
A Matter of Loaf and Death

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
The New Tenants

SOUND EDITING
Avatar

SOUND MIXING
Avatar

VISUAL EFFECTS
Avatar

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Up in the Air

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Hurt Locker

BEST PICTURE
Avatar -- This should be "The Hurt Locker," but I think Avatar will upset as it is a ground-breaking film and has changed cinema as we know it.

And there you have it. I'll check back tomorrow to let you know how I did . . .

Higher Learning: Celebrity Edition

It's back to school time again. But not just for the kiddlets -- your favorite celebs are hitting the books. Jerry O'Connell, fresh from his talk-show tour discussing the birth of his twins and his wife's pumping habits, is studying one of the oldest professions. No, not that one. He's going to become a lawyer. I guess he's not getting royalties from My Secret Identity and Kangaroo Jack these days. The new dad will be taking courses at Southwest School of Law. As the wife of a lawyer, I know Rebecca is in for some long nights alone with the kids. Hopefully, he can start pulling his weight in a few years, though. Maybe Rebecca can become a stay-at-home super-mom-del.

He's not the only one, however. Ashely Judd will be attending Haaavaaaad for her degree in public adminisitration. Lookout Beantown, here she comes! She joins other already-celebrities seeking degrees from Harvard, such as Weezer's Rivers Cuomo and Natalie Portman. Maybe this advanced degree will allow Judd to stop making such crappy movies.

Lastly, Omarosa -- that's Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth to you -- is going to -- wait for it . . . SEMINARY SCHOOL. She will be studying at the United Theological Seminary. Please, if nothing else, let her find a soul there!

All this is inspiring me. I want a reason for a new Trapper-Keeper and pencil box. Perhaps I can persue my advanced degree in blogging? Taught by Professors Perez Hilton and Arianna Huffington?

It's Over

I'm sure no one was surprised by last night's Jon & Kate Plus Eight revelation that they were going their separate ways. I certainly wasn't. Yet, it was still really a sad moment when the proverbial hammer came down. Say what you want about John's earrings or Kate's fake bake -- they are still real people, really getting divorced. And there are real kids involved. TV show or not, whether they had mutual affairs or stayed faithful, they are a family in crisis. The Hubby and I hugged each other a little tighter last night, not because their separation has anything to do with us personally, but it still made us go hmmmm . . . You see, Jon and Kate were married the day after us, ten years ago. Sure, they were thrown a major curveball, having two sets of multiples and a TV show where we just have one and no show. But I guess that means that when you're standing up at that altar saying your "I do's," you have no idea which way it's all going to go.

And, it's one less couple to hang with. The Hubby always insisted that there were certain celebrity couples that would be fun to go out with in real life. Sure, Nick and Jessica were a little dumb, but they seemed nice. We were sad when they broke up that we'd never get a chance to share margaritas at Chilli's. Jon and Kate would bicker a bit, but isn't there one couple in every group like that? I was sure that we'd have a lot to talk about. Now that they're through, that just leaves Brad and Angelina. I probably wouldn't like them in real life, though. They'd probably go on and on about international politics and blah blah blah. And they probably wouldn't want to dish about the latest installment of Big Brother. Oh well. I wonder if Tom and Gisele are available . . .