Kiki's Home for Reality Stars and Wayward Celebutantes

Maybe it's my mothering instinct, but while watching MTV shows (I know, which I am way too old to be doing, see The Gig Girl's post on being a Middle Aged Teenager) I have an overwhelming urge to adopt the "kids" on that show.  It all started with Jersey Shore's Snooki.  She seems like such a nice girl.  She's loves pickles, dancing and is looking for her Prince "Hot Juiced Tan Gorilla" Charming.  Unfortunately, she is looking for, as the song goes, love in all the wrong places -- such as the hot tub (where she hooked up with a roommate known as "The Situation," never a good sign), or in the club, where she did a cartwheel showing off her thong and everything else.  Her parents, as seen on the show, seem like perfectly nice folks.  So where did they go wrong?  Maybe she just needs a little guidance.  That's where I come in.  Maybe I can invite Snooki into my home, and show her what it's like to be a "good Italian girl."  We live in a great neighborhood -- there's an Italian bakery, deli, and a gelato shop.  I'll buy her some tailored pants and turtlenecks.  She can GTL to her heart's content (Groceries, Toilet Cleaning and Laundry).  But why stop at Snooks?  Those Teen Moms on MTV could sure use a boost (have you seen Catelyn and Farrah's moms?)  And don't forget about Paris and Lindsay.  Maybe we're on to something.  Come on, girls!  There's room for everyone.  Do you think I could score some free babysitting out of this deal.  Mmm, maybe not.