Top Chef Finale: Part Deux

Alas, no pork was left out on the Top Chef Finale, but the episode was chock full of Lisa-tude. We begin in tropical Puerto Rico during an uncomfortable breakfast with Richard, Stephanie, and Lisa. Richard is already sending Lisa steely glances as he doesn’t think she belongs there (as do I). They are then introduced to three piles of festering meat and seafood, behind which stands their sous chef – Eric Ripert (!), April Bloomfield (!), and Dan Barber (!). Stephanie pairs with Ripert (wise choice), Richard takes Dan, and Lisa goes all girl power with April. What’s funny is watching Stephanie tell a Michelin chef how to fillet a fish and Richard showing the crowd some of his liquid nitrogen tricks. And Lisa just whines in the background. She keeps saying how un-nervous she is, which I’m hoping is the TV editing kiss of death. They adjourn for the day, to return the next day to the news it’s a sous-chef sick-out and they’re on their own. Richard is sweating it, Stephanie is doubtful of her abilities, and Lisa’s awesome (in her own mind). The dishes are presented, Lisa is over confident, Richard has decided to 86 his Tabasco ice-cream with oysters, and Stephanie is hating on her dessert. After the tasting of the 12 dishes commences, I deduce Stephanie and Lisa draw round one, Lisa takes two, Stephanie three, and Lisa (grumble) four. Lisa also comes to this conclusion and says this to Stephanie IN FRONT OF RICHARD, who has just confided to the judges that he has choked by way of pork belly. But my, does Tom Colicchio look dapper all cleaned up (but he’s still a dick). Oh, and why 9 judges? Where’s Nina Zagat for an even 10? Anywho, I was sweating by this point that Lisa would take it due to the rave reviews (even though only 4% of viewers wanted her to win, according to the call in poll). Thank Anthony Bourdain (you know, God), Stephanie won, well deserved (but it bums me out that Richard did so poorly, despite the well received bacon ice cream.) But wait, there’s more – a cast reunion next week. Can’t wait to see if Spike’s got a new hat!