Kanye and Murakami Team Up for Video

And to show you I still got it, here's the new video from my two favorites, Kanye West and Cold Sake Hall of Famer Takashi Murakami:

Have I Mentioned I Am Officially Old?

I mentioned a few years back that I was getting too old for MTV when everything except for Laguna Beach seemed out of reach for me. Flash forward three years and considering I’ve never seen a complete episode of The Hills, the nail is in the coffin. I honestly don’t know the last time I’ve even turned that channel on. I don’t know where the new installment of the Real World is filming and I keep seeing these douchebags named Spencer and Heidi on various red carpets, but don’t know why. Getting out of touch is a slippery, slippery slope. Meanwhile, I’ve been planning a Babymoon for The Hubby and me. He wanted to go somewhere laid back, like the Caribbean. Food-born illnesses and hurricane season? Ich don’t think so. I wanted one last grasp at my youth. I want to go to Los Angeles before I have a kid in tow. Now I know I can’t go clubbing, lest I look like Kathryn Heigl in Knocked Up (“that’s not even good parenting”), but I figured I could get tickets to a few shows, eat in a Mike Boogie restaurant, and shop until I drop (which won’t take long). So, I registered for Jimmy Kimmel tickets and came across another opportunity – VMA seat filler. Ten years ago, this would have been a dream come true. Hell, twenty years ago, I would stay up late if my mom let me and would be exhausted for school the next day (why is it always the Sunday after school starts?). Today, I clicked on by. First, I’m busy on Sunday. I have some lovely historic homes in Pasadena to tour. Second, I have to pee every ten minutes and the logistics just weren’t working for me. Third, you have to give your stats to be cast. Yeah, no one knows my weight except me and my doc (I’m huge) and if I typed that in, they would assume there was an errant extra digit at the beginning of the number. No one could possibly be that short yet weigh as much as the defensive line of the Patriots! Lastly, unless we were filling Jay-Z and Beyonce’s seats, The Hubby and I wouldn’t be seated together. What’s the point of going to the VMAs if I can’t lean over and make catty comments about Britney’s weave (especially if I’m seated next to Britney)? So, I will cross my fingers I get love from Jimmy Kimmel. Otherwise, I’m on the hunt for the best cupcake in West Hollywood. And to bed by 10pm, thank you.

Hiring Ben McKenzie

Wow, has it been a week and a half? Sorry about that. There’s been nothing going on in the world (damn Olympics), plus I’ve been away celebrating my friends Travis and Jodi’s wedding. Now that my DVR is recognizing the existence of fall TV, let’s ramp it back up! So, in order to feel constantly inspired, I leave myself little notes of future topics to blog about (which I shoulda checked last week). I wrote a note early last spring when the unbuzzworthy Al Pacino flim 88 Minutes premiered. In the preview, I saw the erstwhile Ben McKenzie, last seen when the O.C. signed off in ’07. The note was simply titled “Ben McKenzie needs a job.” You see, I was hardcore into O.C. reruns on Soapnet at the time, and I got a full dose of his talent and was missing him. I’m dead serious. I’ve always appreciated the comic timing of Adam Brody (Seth Cohen), but in the later episodes,McKenzie and Brody would play off of each other like the hipster Martin and Lewis (you know, after Marissa kicked it and he grew a sense of humor). Before that, he perfected the brood – he could melt you with one steely glance. Sure, he has a potato nose like a young Karl Malden, but the boy had chops. Lastly, he was a little too realistic as the stone-faced, emotionally stunted husband in Junebug. So, I was happy to read yesterday that E.R.’s John Wells was considering him for a new cop series (I thought we didn’t need another one either, but there actually aren’t a lot on these days besides The Shield and L&O franchises). So good luck Ben McKenzie. We hope you get a job really soon!

Kiki’s Hellraising Experience

With the impending arrival of Cold Sake Jr., I’ve started to experience some nightly discomfort. It starts with a tingling in my leg and ends with watching Last Call with Carson Daly in a fit of insomnia. Bad right? As much of Western medicine is off limits to me in my current situation, I decided to kick my crunchiness up a notch, and go all east up in here, from neti pot to needles. That’s right, I jumped into acupuncture wit both feet. First of all, the neighborhood made it unavoidable. The acupuncture is situated between my maternal yoga class and a Whole Foods (where I bought the damn neti pot). So, I think they used super strong magnets to kidnap me and get me there. Inside, it seems like it’s on the up and up – no dead chickens hanging from the ceiling or anything. Just a skylight and some very sterile looking procedure rooms. So, I met with my acupuncturist, Jason. He was not wearing a turban – he was actually dressed like a lawyer. We went over my issues (the fact that it feels like someone is stabbing me in my leg every night with a million knives). We decided Cold Sake Jr. has his or her little bum on a nerve. The remedy for such seems to be around thirty needles from my toe to my thigh. The first time I went, it was pretty conservative, completely painless, and left one tiny blue bruise on my thigh. The tingling got a little milder, but did not disappear (which is what I was expecting as acupuncture is not an instant fix). The next time I went, we decided to get more aggressive and go apeshit with twice as many needles. He even put one in each wrist for some lingering nausea. He left me alone to chill out to some classical music (sitting in a chair with no pants, since preggies can’t lie on their back). I was afraid I would bump a needle and drive it into a vital leg organ, but it seemed to be fine. Looking down I couldn’t help but laugh, because my leg bore a close resemblance to this guy (see photo). After a half hour, Jason returned, removed the needles, and he proposed I stick some tiny ball bearings decals in my ears for the “microsystem” that controls my thigh. He said it would prolong the treatment and despite what I feared, no one had ever lost a sticker down the ear canal. It looks like a fancy piercing from the planet Vulcan, but it seems to be working. I have a few more bruises, but I’ve had many nights of good sleep, so it’s worth it. I go back tomorrow, so we’ll see how it goes. Who knows? It could be the placebo affect or maybe the baby realized that Carson Daly isn’t that good and it’s not worth waking me up for. There will be plenty of time for overnight TV next year kid, trust me.

Remembering Bernie Mac

America! I know I am a few days late with this post, but it’s no less sincere. In honor of the passing of Bernie Mac, I bring you my favorite clip of one of the original Kings of Comedy:

Itunes, Les Miz, Megan Mullally and NPH: How Do These Things Go Together?

If you know me or have read my blog, you know that I can be a giant nerd. So don't be surprised when I tell you about the latest thing that floats my boat. So, the other night, when I was waiting for The Hubby to bring me Chinese food to enjoy in an orgy of Olympic opening ceremonial goodness, I was listening to the Itunes on random shuffle. This is a dangerous thing in our house -- you could get something super-cool, like "Lazy Eye" from Silversun Pickups, something weird like N'Sync singing the "Star-Spangled Banner" (a moment of pre-Itunes song stealing weakness, I'm sure) to any one of The Hubby's grownup classical tunes (I can't judge him with what I'm about to tell you). So, I was overjoyed when "Confrontation" from the Les Miserables Broadway Soundtrack came up. This song is great because it is a powerful, intricately layered argument between anti-hero Jean Valjean and the evil Javert. I haven't heard that song in ages, not since I threw Les Miz over for Rent in college. It then reminded me of an awesome clip for the Megan Mullally Show (I know, right?) which featured the cast of How I Met Your Mother. I think I discovered this clip on a random sick day before the show was canceled. Somehow, NPH and Jason Segel break out into song -- this song -- and it is legendary. Due to the miracle of Youtube, I will share with you all. Please enjoy.



And if you're feeling too smart after that, I will now Barrack-roll you:


And if you're feeling stupid, here is an explanation of the genesis of that clip, the Rickroll.

Always Be on Your Best Behavior Before A Car Accident

There’s been a lot of summer blockbuster stars involved in car crashes lately – Shia (the Muthaf*ckin” Beef as BWE.TV calls him) LaBoeuf and Morgan Freeman. But they were not alone during their incidetns. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s Shia was apparently with Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend Isabel Lucas (sister has a thing for curly haired boys with strange names) when he flipped his car in West Hollywood last month. You don’t want to mess with the Beef but I bet Vinny Chase is even scarier when he gets all Hulky and angry. In other news, The Dark Knight’s Morgan Freeman was with a lady friend during his accident, which got the word out that he’s sorta separated from his wife. Double ouch. So not only do these two dudes have to convalesce, but now they have to deal with inappropriate passenger fallout. Mark my words, before I have a car accident, I’m going to make sure my passenger isn’t someone I’m having an illicit affair with. I’ll push ‘em out the door with my foot before we have impact. Fo shizz.

The Story Behind the Paris Hilton Ad

Ah ha. I thought the Paris Hilton response to the McCain ad was really funny, but despite her. The real credit goes to her writers. Who are those mystery people, I wondered? Well, turns out, they brought in the big guns for this – The Funny Or Die folks (or funnee ordee as The Hubby once said phonetically when seeing the url). Yep, the spot was written by Adam McKay (who also wrote and pimped out his daughter to star in this clip, which makes me so happy that I have a reason to post this since it’s one of the best things on the interwebs, in my opinion) and was produced by Chris Henchy (writer and producer of Entourage, Brooke Shield’s husband for the slow class). It was directed by newcomer Jake Szymanski (who is currently best known as the caterer in Step Brothers. Good job Jake!). So, there is some major funny behind the blonde. And without further ado:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Itunes Has No Love for Sukiyaki

For my b-day this year, The Hubby gifted me with among other things, an Itunes gift card. It’s been a while since I’ve bought anything, but I’ve been jonesing for the Kate Nash album (in it’s entirety). I usually will just buy songs as I like them and I usually have to love a whole album (I used to have a 3 song rule before Itunes – I must hear 3 songs from the album in order to warrant the purchase) or the artist in general before I will shell out my nine bucks. So, I bought Made of Bricks based on just my quick perusal, and my instincts were correct (it’s great). With almost fifteen dollars burning a hole in my account, I thought I would thank The Hubby and buy him a song he’s wanted for some time – Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto or "Ue o muite arukō" as it’s know in Japan. We have long liked this classic song for the 60’s and were reminded of it the other night during Mad Men (yay! by the way) in a scene where Don Draper is drowing his sorrows in Mai Tais in a cheesy Polynesian restaurant. So, I went on to Itunes and searched by the song title – a whopping 86 versions came up. Everything from the syrupy Taste of Honey mis-translated cover (in English) from the 80’s, a spicy Selena version en Espanaol, and a Japanglish cover by The Four Preps. Alas, no Kyu Sakamoto. First, he gets disrespected by all of America (changing the poetic lyrics of his song to the name of a Japanese dish because they couldn’t understand the full title) and now, no Itunes love? Well that’s just not fair. Therefore, I am inducting Sukiyaki into the Cold Sake Hall Of Fame.

And here’s a stream of the song for your listening pleasure:

Bananas for Coconut Records

Have you heard the new tunes by Coconut Records? I’ve been grooving to West Coast and Nighttiming lately and I had to get to the bottom of who this mystery band is. Well, turns out it’s not a band at all – it’s the solo project of actor Jason Schwartzman. You know, the guy from Rushmore and Darjeeling Limited? Cousin of Sophia Coppola and Nicholas Cage? Son of Adrian from Rocky? Brother of Robert Schwartzman from Rooney? (The family tree is astounding) . Anyway, I found out the Jason used to be the drummer for Phantom Planet. Phantom Planet sings the best TV theme song of all time, California from The O.C. I thought the song West Coast sounds O.C.-ready. Well, turns out the song was featured on The O.C., before the show was cancelled last year! Damn, I need a job as music supervisor of a TV show. And do you think the Coppolas will adopt me? What’s one more kid?