Too Old for MTV

I think I’m getting to old to watch MTV. I know, it’s sad. I’m only 30, I vowed to watch it forever and someday be a cool mom, but I think they are kicking me out of the demographic with both feet. I think I’m becoming a lame mom (without kids yet) based on my reactions to the recent line-up:
My Super Sweet Sixteen – instead of coveting the party, I think how I would kill my kid if they ever pulled that shit.
The Real World – all they do is drink and hook up (and I’m not even sure what that term means – is it sex? first base? Stop, you’re both right?) All I can’t think is all the STD’s they must be getting and liver damage they are causing. And really, how hard is it to get to your job for noon?
The 70’s House – These kids have never heard of Jimmie Walker and turn their noses up at Cheez Whiz? Even when I was a teen in the early 90’s, I still had a basic knowledge of the 50’s and 60’s. Stupid children.
Miss Seventeen – Yeah, don’t really care. It’s like a catty The Apprentice.

The only good show, sadly, is Laguna Beach . Dynasty wasn’t even this scandalous. This is now more interesting than The OC. Kristen's hooking up with Stephen, who’s hooking up with L.C., who’s hooking up with Jason, who’s hooking up with Jessica and Alex. When do those kids find time to do their homework?

I think I’ll need to switch over to VH1 instead, you know, Celebreality, Best Week Ever. They deal with issues like commitment (My Fair Brady), rehab (Breaking Bonaduce), and parenting (Hogan Knows Best) – things an old fart like myself can relate to.