Yesterday’s post got me thinking about my general attitude towards famous people. I would love to say I’ve “met” many in my day, but there’s actually very few I have exchange physical contact with (or words for that matter). I have a “don’t tap on the glass and bother the animals” policy when it comes to celebrities. I will not go up to them if I see them on the street. The only time I have met famous people has been after waiting in line for hours. I figure, they don’t know me, I don’t want to bother them, and if we meet, the world will go on as before, so WTF. I don’t really see the point of getting a person’s signature on a piece of paper because what’s the point in that? I can sign my name too, you know. I think we learned the hard way not to bother the beautiful people when, at a Barenaked Ladies concert, we spotted Jason Priestley. The Hubby, in a completely out of character move, grabbed the diminutive Priestley by the shoulder, practically spun him around, and said “Hey man, I really liked 90210.” Priestley turned with a look of such venom, I thought The Hubby, even though he was half-a-foot taller, was going down. Priestly just replied “Thanks, man,” and continued to hurry wherever he was off to. From that point on, we don’t bother the animals. Here, however, is a chronological list with who I have met, been in the same room with, or kissed (in the case of Donny Osmond):
1978 – My grandparents flung me (a toddler) into the arms of Mr. Osmond during a concert. The Mormon god planted one right on my cheek. I’ve never been the same and it’s been downhill from there.
1980 – I stood in line at a car show in Worcester, MA, with my parents to meet Scott Baio. Mind you, at age five, my imaginary friend/ husband was Scott Baio (little did I know he wasn’t the marrying kind and the Playboy Mansion was more his speed). Upon meeting Cha-chi, I handed him an envelope of clippings about himself from 16 Magazine (what was a five year old doing with a copy of that, you might ask). He asked me for a kiss, I refused (I was not an easy five year old). My older sister got some, though, lucky bitch.
1992 – I debated with John Kerry in my high school auditorium (I was a misguided republican child, probably all those 16 Magazines). Little did I know I could have gotten tazed, bro.
1993 – Stood in line, in college, for New Kids on the Block. They were getting a star at the erstwhile Tower Records. I was doing it to be ironic, but I kinda got into it after waiting few hours. Joey McIntyre was the only one to make eye contact, bless him.
1995 – Does a book signing with Naomi Wolf count? Naw, didn’t think so.
1997 – On the way back from a grad school fair, we spotted Ringo Starr strolling down the street. A horde of screaming girls soon followed, just like the old days. I was so glad I did not join in as I later discovered he was in town for treatment for his daughter’s brain cancer. Eek.
1999 – The Priestley incident. And I met a few of the Barenaked Ladies, who were fortunately fully clothed.
2002 – In our trip to NYC, we see Richard Schiff from the West Wing, in Central Park, with his kids. We also accidentally walk through a Woody Allen movie set and see little Woody, looking like a tiny flasher in his raincoat. Oh, and a big haired Beyonce squirrelly dined across from us at Nobu. She looked very shifty.
2003 – Back to NYC, Richard Schiff is loitering outside a Broadway theater. We begin to suspect he is in fact stalking us.
2004 – At a meet and greet for Garden State, I get bored waiting to talk to Zach Braff and leave.
2007 – We meet Barrack Obama at a NH political thingy. Sadly, my body is cut off in the photo
(dude is tall).
2008 – Anthony Rapp and Josh Ritter (and Natalie Merchant). So, who have you “met”?
Addendum: The Hubby reminded me of two more touches with fame:
2004 -- While The Hubby was in Law School, we attended the yearly "law prom" at his school. Usually, they would have political guest speakers like Hans Blix, Supreme Court Justices, the usual riff raff. Well, this year they shelled out the coin for Bill O'Reilly. What an ass! He spoke for 5 minutes and then was gracious enough to sign autographs. I waited to get my program signed for my little Fox News watchin' grandma and he just growled and didn't look up. Definitely my least favorite famous person of all time!
2007 – On a pre-holiday trek to NYC, we saw Giorgio Armani on the housewares floor of the chichi Japanese department store, Takashimaya. He was standing there quietly poking around, looking leathery and fabulous, while members of his posse yelled “Giorgio!” from across the room, scurrying around. It was otherwise empty in there and the Hubby and I just looked at each other like “wow!”
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