First Impressions of Big Brother 10

It’s Big Brother time again! Power up the Chen-bot and let’s get ready for another installment. So, I’ve been watching this week and the cast is so far mostly dim-bulbs (with a few supposed “puppet-masters”). Last night, we saw the departure of Brian, who thought he was Dr. Will, except he was non-too-subtle in making alliances. Here are my impressions on the rest of the crew:

Angie – My favorite so far. She seems like a nice, normal, down-to-earth gal. She’ll probably end up being “one of the guys,” so hopefully that will work to her advantage. She also bears a slight resemblance to Moon Bloodgood from my favorite canceled show of last fall, Journeyman.

April – One of the two house Barbies. She’s already fallen tits over stilettos for Ollie. We’ll see how smart she is as time goes on, or if the blonde goes all the way. She is a financial manager after all. At first I thought she had her own hedge fund, but she’s the hottie at the car dealership that sells you a loan, so not so much. Also, she was billed as being OCD in her bio, so I’m hoping for a little cuckoo storeroom organizing, if you know what I mean.

Dan – The catholic school teacher who made an alliance with the first person to be voted out, so I’m not impressed so far. I also get the distinct feeling from him that he’s going to do something worthy of getting him fired from his job. That’s okay, he can just “go to confession” afterwards, as he stated in one of his interviews. Sure, pal, that helps you get your job back.

Jerry – I knew the house “grandpa” would get nominated into HOH right away. But, he’s easily manipulated as judged by his interactions with Brian. As someone who claims he hasn’t missed an episode in BB history, I hope he knows he is now a marked man . . .

Jessie – Maybe he could play the game if he stopped looking at his own muscles for 30 seconds. This professional body-builder seems to be a one-trick-pony of testosterone. I do not expect him to go far in this game.

Keesha – The only white girl in history named Keesha. The other Barbie of the house is also a Hooters waitress. I predict a Playboy contract, but not a ½ mil as she has already pissed the other Barbie off. Hair extensions and little plastic shoes may start flying everywhere if they throw down.

Libra – Libra gets “Mother of the Year” award for leaving a 4-year-old daughter and 5-month-old twins (!) at home. Hopefully I can get past this fact at some point, but I seethe every time she’s on screen. She’s also a weird mix of Gabrielle Union and Michelle Obama. Fist bump!

Memphis – This can’t be his real name. It reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump: “There was Dallas, from Phoenix; Cleveland - he was from Detroit; and Tex... well, I don't remember where Tex come from.” Memphis from L.A. is a mixologist, or a bartender for us regular folk. Brian believes him to be the biggest threat (after himself). Make me a virgin martini first, Memphis, then we’ll see.

Michelle – She’s the around-the-way girl from my neck of the woods. She seemed like a mouthy broad who WILL kick your ass in the first episode. The last two days, she’s gone into the wood paneling. Maybe her day will be coming soon.

Ollie – The son of a preacher-man fell in love with Barbie #1 (April) at first sight. I believe he’s going to go Church-boys Gone Wild and give us something to look at on BB After Dark.

Renny – I really hoped she would be leaving us last night. Holy crap, is she annoying. I bet the house is going to assume they can always get rid of her. Therefore, I reluctantly predict Renny to be the winner of BB10.

Stephen – I haven’t seen much of the gay rodeo cowboy this week. Which means I have nothing further to say other than: “Big Brother, I wish I could quit you . . .”