I Don’t Eat Gerunds

I’ve decided I’m adding a new restriction to my diet – I no longer will eat a gerund. A gerund is a verb’s action noun, which uses the –ing form. I’ve seen it in mass produced food titles and descriptions way too much lately. First, McDonald’s new Southern Style Crispy Chicken Sandwich is served on a “buttery-tasting roll.” I don’t want my sandwich to be tasting anything. Why is it "buttery tasting" and not just buttery? Is that because it’s a non nutritive food additive causing the taste? Then, there’s new McCormick Crusting Blends. They are an herb and breadcrumb mixture to crust chicken breast. But really, do I want my food crusting? Isn’t that traditionally a bad thing? Isn’t crusting something that happens to scabs? You know what’s another gerund? Food poisoning. So, I think it’s safe to say I’m avoiding all foods containing –ing. Next up, adjectives, such as Bagel-fuls (is that like helpful or careful?).