Lost Without You

Wow, last night was the end of one of the last shows from the '07-'08 TV season – Lost. Now, there is utterly, absolutely nothing on until July (when Mad Men is back), except for that one last episode of Lipstick Jungle hanging out on my DVR. I will miss you, Lost, until you return in January 2009 (!) Here’s what happened last night:

-We picked up where we left off in last season’s season finale, Jack McBeardy and Kate at the airport, talking about mystery man’s funeral. And the dead man is Jeremy Bentham? I smell new character!

-The castaways continue their various missions from 2 weeks ago – Jack looking for Ben and Locke, Sayid and Kate looking for Jack, a boatful of people looking for the freighter, Sgt. Jeter (as we call him, Keamy to you) looking for Ben and Locke, and Hurley looking for a place to whiz. Keamy has captured the surrendered Ben, Locke’s trying to figure out how the green house moves the island, and Hurley’s trying to figure out how these buried crackers stay so crispy.

-Meanwhile, all the Oceanic Six begin to get very paranoid due to a warning from Jeremy Bentham. Kate sees Claire’s ghost, Sun teams up with Caleb Nichol, I mean Bradford Meade, I mean Charles Widmore, Hurley plays chess with Mr. Ecko, Sayid is badass as ever, Jack is drunk, and Aaron is blonde. Oh, and Walt is a fully grown dude.

-Oh, and there’s a huge pile of Dy-no-mite on the freighter that leave Michael, Jin, and Desmond scratching their heads.

-So, Kate and Sayid team up with the other’s to rescue Ben, defining the phrase my enemy’s enemy is my friend. Once freed, Ben tells them, yeah, sure you can all leave now (wa wa wee wah?) Oh yeah, and I would double check Keamy, whom you just shot, because brother was wearing a bullet proof vest, fo shiz.

-Meanwhile, the other others (Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles) are all acting shifty. What do they know?

-Ben prepares to move the island using a giant microwave oven filled with metal. Keamy appears (told you) reveals his heart rate controls a bomb on the freighter and whoopsie, Ben kills him.

-In a cluster f@$%, Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sawyer and Hurley head to the about to be blowed up freighter on a fuel-leaking helicopter and need to dump weight (and no one looks at Hurley?) and Sawyer jumps. C’mon, we all know he woulda pushed Earthquake in real life. They land just in time to refuel and take off again, but manage to pick up Sun and Aaron, to her horror as Jin and Michael meet their maker (tear). Meanwhile, Ben has reached the fortress of solitude, turns a giant crank, and poof, the island is gone. Uh, what happened to Daniel and his latest batch of boaties? Juliet and Sawyer seem left to their own devices, with a bottle of Dharma rum and a wrinkle in time. That’s okay, because the Oceanic 6 plus Desmond and Frank find Penny’s boat (yay) and concoct some bullarky story about only the 6 of them surviving, to protect those on the missing island, which doesn’t make much sense since no one can find it anyway.

-And lastly, Jack McBeardy breaks into the funeral home where a scab-free Ben (for a change) tells him they all must return, all 6 of them. And, Jeremy Bentham is . . . .drumroll . . .John Locke?

Wow, gang, let’s talk about the next episode after we elect a new president.