Oscar Blog 2008

11:49 Here we go -- the big enchillada. And the Oscar goes to -- No Country for Old Men! Yay, got it right. 15/24! Hubby gots 13. I win! Sushi it is, and we're out at 11:52. Seacrest out!

11:43 At the rate of 10 minutes per award, we're coming in around midnight, tie breakers! Marty! I've missed him. Ok, my moolah is on the Cohens. Do they get one award or two? Yay, they won. 14/23 (not shabby). Did anyone notice if Mya Rudolph was there with PT? Are they still together? Frances McDormand looks nice and she just wolf-whistled for her hubby (one of the brothers, not sure which).

11:32 Best Actor is up next. Dang, we'll be done before minight, a new record. I miss the dance number though. And the gratuitous opening number. Helen Mirren is wearing red (how predictable at this point). My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard. Clooney doesn't have a chance (sorry he's playing Clooney, big whoop). Daniel Day is gonna win for the second time, unless Johnny gets a Lifetime Acheivement Award (nice to see he joined us from France). Hey, Charlize, you have been around, haven't ya? Tommy Lee, eh. Viggo gets a special full frontal honorary Oscar (previous winners included Kevin Bacon). And the Oscar goes to . . . .Daniel Day Lewis! MILKSHAKE! And he's said something about a Golden Sapling from the Head of PT Anderon. Oh---kay. Fun fact, Arthur Miller is his late Father-in-Law. And his kid's name is Cashew.

11:27 Jones, Indiana Jones. I noticed Harrison Ford was sitting with gal pal Ally McBeal. Odd couple, but whatever works. Ok, Original Screenplay! I want Diablo to win just to hear the speech. Yay, and she does. Leopard print, grrrr. She's like a raven-haired Judy Greer. Shout out to little Ellen Page (keep Jack away from her too). Wow, she's crying. Not the tough-as-nails ex-stripper I pegged her to be. More of the heart-of-gold varietal. Nice. Oh, and that makes it 12/20 me, 9/20 hubby (mmmm, tekka maki).

11:25 Okay, we got screenplay, actor, director, and picture left. The air is alive with electricity (that, and I just spilled asti spumanti on the keyboard). And, Fillet O' Fish is back at McDonald's. It's a Lenten Classic! Hubby just came into the room with a final "I. Drink. Your. Milkshake!" We're retiring the phrase tomorrow.

11:19 Best Doc Feature -- Sicko doesn't have a chance (sorry, Mike). But, it is an upset with Taxi to the Dark Side! I had No End in Sight (a lot like this show, hey-o!) 11/19.

11:16 Live from Bag-DAD (in the words of Tom Hanks). Best Doc Short is -- Freeheld! EW is back and I'm 11/18 (I guess I can't catch up at this point, huh?) The winners are soaking their Depends on stage.

11:12 Amy Adams (who's getting a lot of screen time tonight) just made a Jaws joke, and I jumped under my coffee table (my one true phobia). Ok, Best Score. Atonement! We both got that one, 10/17.

11:06 Hilary Swank has become british too. Yay! Parade of the Dead time! I got nervous when they showed that clip from Hook. I was like "All those kids died? What were they doing together?" Then I realized it was for the makeup artist. Whoops. Parade is a bit thin this year, 'cept for Heath. R.I.P., bro.

10:57 Ahh, snack break and pee break, sorry. Oh, and Marketa got to say her bit (Iwas waiting for schtick for a second). Ha, Cameron Diaz is such an idiot. We got a race here as I say Blood, Hubby says Old Men. I winnn!!!!!!!!!!!! Suck on it, love of my life! 9 outta 16 (he's got 7).

10:54 Jon Stewart just slammed him. Jon! I'm so happy for Glen and Marketa. Oh, and that's 8 out of 15. Nice.

10:50 Jon Travolta just made a dandy entrance, and then almost fell. Ha! Say it with me -- Once, Once, Once! And, a sudden thought, why wasn't Juno nominated? Huh. Anyway . . .Once wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was the category I cared most about. In the tradition of Eminem and Three 6 Mafia, Glen Hansard and Irina somethingorother are now OSCAR WINNERS! An amazin ting (in his words).

10:46 Hi McDreamy. Wow, the production values keep getting bigger and bigger. Sung by Jon McLaughlin. No shit, really? I met him at work a few months ago when he was hawking his CD. Nice guy, but I didn't think anyone else was aware. Cool, I'm a stalker.

10:43 Oh, Penelope is there? Why isn't she with Javier? Besto Foreigna filmo. There's a movie from Kazakhstan? VERY NICCCCCEEE! Great success. And the Counterfeiters wins. Yay, back in the game, 7 outta 14.

10:39 Nicole Kidman is straining to show her baby bump. She might pass a kidney stone by accident. Did she just give an honorary Oscar to Donna Reed? I'm confused. Robert Boyle, where did I get Donna Reed from? Too much champers. Man, he can talk. When does the Debbie Allen dance number start? That's it -- snack time!

10:30 Renee got her hair fixed. Awwww Bourne wins Best Film Editing. Matt Damon, why must you vex me so! Where was I? Oh yeah 6/13. That's less than 50%. Sucks. But, so far, I'm, still having a sushi dinner in a few weeks. Jon got it right when he said someone just advanced in their Oscar pool based on a guess.

10:24 Jaaaaack! He took the sunglasses off tonight. Who does he pay to get the best seat in the house? Showing a Best Picture montage of all the winners ever. Now, my Netflix queue will be stuffed because there are some many I need to see. Marty! On the Waterfront! Yikes!

10:20 What is Colin Farrel rambling about? Oh, it's Once. I've been waiting all night! Perfection. They look like two kids at the prom. And she's not wearing a bra.

10:17 Rocco Dispirito was just in a Bertolli commercial, and I must say he looks svelte. But, he's still a douchebag. Just a thinner douchebag.

10:10 Best Actress montage (what's Charlize been up to?) The hubby effed up his ballot and picked Cate, I'm going with Marion, Julie will probably win. Arrgggg, there's no way Marion can't win, she was amazing. And she shaved her hairline. Ellen "it's-an-honor-to-be-nominated" Page. And the oscar goes to Marion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whooooo hooooo. 6/12 biatches. (5/12 hubby). Marion is at a loss as she's just said all the english words she knows. Love, life, cats. Sounds like me in Montreal.

10:02 And, we're back with an Angelina Jolie pregnancy joke. And two white guys with 'fros (Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen). Sound Editing. Hmmm, I said Transformers, I hope I don't regret it . . and I do. Bourne Ultimatum. EW is fired. And I'm 5/11. And the guy that just won is wearing a bike lock for a tie (hey-oh and she hits her stride). Oh, and Best Sound Mixing (same thing, right? I'm screwed). It's a two-fer. The hubby says "everything sounds great to the Bourne Ultimatum." (which is why I don't let him blog). And a Halle Berry kissing joke. Rim-shot. And a somber dedication (awww).

9:53 A fun little mini-film about accounting (snooorrrre). Ugghhh Hannah Montana. How did she get a ticket? Is she trying to young up the awards at 10PM. On a school night? Oh, right, she works for Disney. Who owns ABC. Nepotism. A least this number has a little more production value. And the lady from the show we call "The Pie Maker" is singing ("Pushing Dasies?"). Ooh wow, big backflip. Sounds like "Under the Sea" though.

9:48 Josh Brolin and James McAvoy -- is this the shut-out awards segment? Jack's getting a big laugh (easy there, bro). Yes, No Country wins Best Adapted Screenplay! I am now tied with the hubby 5/10 both of us.

9:45 Jessica Alba, looking like an eggplant (what was she thinking, with that color?) She hosted the Geek Awards. She doesn't get to present anythng else? Sucks for her. Ew gross, Jon just made a joke about Jack impregnating the starlets. Keep that little kid from Atonement away from him.

9:36 Best Supporting Actress. Cate as a guy, Ruby Dee as a bigger badass than Javier and Daniel Day combined, that chick from Atonement whose name I can't pronounce, Amy Ryan who had a better Boston accent than Casey (coming from a Bostonian), ambisexual Tilda Swinton doing her best Jodi Foster. And the award goes to . . . .Tilda Swinton! Shut up! Gawd, she' so weird. And I saw her boobies in that Ewan Mcgregor movie, Young Adam, and I'm still disturbed. She seems horny for George Clooney. And with that, I'm 4/9 (5/9 hub). Thank God I don't have money down in the outside world. Not doing well . . .

9:33 Jerry Seinfeld and his effing bees. Arrgggh, lost again for Animated Short. Losing big time this year. 4/8, 5/8 hub. If only I had a dollar every time someone on stage was wearing black, white, or red.

9:30 Hi Owen, it's good to see you looking well. Is this Best Foriegn Short? It's all subtitles (and tonto). Aww, some movie EW didn't steer me towards. 4/7 me, 5/7 h.

9:22 How come Javier didn't bring Penelope Cruz. Anyway, enjoying the Periscope Montage. I'd actually prefer a 100% montage show. Kerri Russel, looking pretty, but could use a little rouge. I don't know this song though and kinda don't care. Stretch break!

9:13 Here comes the first acting award. Geez, lots of pre-taped bits (strike induced I'm sure). Cuba Gooding, before Boat Cruise or whatever the F it's called. J-Hud comes out, looking svelt with the help of Best Visual Dress Effects. Best Supporting Actor goes tooooo . . . . .Javi-er, Javi-er . . ..(I always forget Arnold Drummond's step mom is Hal Holbrook's wife). Javvvvviiiiieerrrrr! Do I know how to pick 'em or what? 4/6 me, 5/6 hubby. Javier looks so much better without the Prince Valiant hair do. I don't know what he just said en espanol, but right on, brother.

9:10 New rule this year. All winners get 8 seconds for their speech. Cate Blanchett looking rather caje (short for casual FYI) in her maternity gown. Best Art Direction: Sweeney Todd! Yes, 3/5 me, 4/5 hubby. Aww, poor winner looks like someone froze her face. Yeeesh.

9:06 Jon Stewart has a really good joke about making fun of OUR outfits at home during the commercial breaks. Hey, the Rock found a suit that fits (barely), but unfortunately, no laughs. Uggh, the Golden Compass wins Best Visual Effects and Kiki is 2/4 (but the hubby is only 3/4, so plbbtttt! (rasberry noise).

9:02 Sweet memories of Catherine Zeta Jones's voluptuous bosom.

8:59 A Enchanted performance. How lovely. Amy Adams needs animated mice or something though (are the on-strike with the Animal Actors Guild?)

8:56 Kathryn Heigl showed up to the wrong party (it's not the Emmy's sweetheart). I think she just wet herself. And the makeup Oscar goes to . . .(Norbit, that would be funny). Pirates should not win for guyliner alone. Yay! La Vie En Rose won! 2/3! I love the frenchie's speech, super short, ugh, but the Brit wants to ramble. Ahh, saved by the music!

8:52 Steve Carell (sp?) and Anne Hathaway being schticky (or promoting their new movie). Okay. Persepolis better not win, because I'd be 0-2. I actually liked Ratatouille, so (and I made some to go with it, also yummy). Oscar goes to Ratatouille. I'm now 1/2 (and 1/2 with the hubby, the prize is dinner). Brad Bird is surprisingly funny and "on," unlike the costume lady. He already needs to wrap up? Jeez, tough.

8:47 George Clooney, the Cary Grant of our generation. Ah, I love a good montage. Tear!

8:44 Hey, my college across-the-hall neighbor, Amy French, is in a Diet Coke commerical as a bitchy PA. Way to go Amy! And a shout out to my two readers so far, Joann from grammar school, and Erika (Amy's roomate)!

8:41 Jennifer Garner is presenting and has developed a british accent. And the Best Costume Oscar goes to . . . Elizabeth. Crap, I'm now 0/1. Not a good start. Surprisingly, the winner's costume is kind of lame, but her speech is just right -- short.

8:40 Tommy Lee just liked that joke about Iraq. Finally! Uggh, that opening took a bit longer and went downhill. No song montage, huh? Kind of a letdown.

8:33 Hi John! Comedy is good, crowd is fun. What's with Tommy Lee's sourpuss though? Cut to Jack. Jaaaaackkkkkk . . . Diablo Cody's tats look good. And a lame joke about Stripper names (ugh).

8:30 It has begun! Some weird CGI that looks like Grand Theft Auto is on.